Britney Spears

current VILLAGE IDIOT

Britney Spears

 
28 January 2012

Early wedding gift. You're free! Brit Twits dad, Jamie Spears, has asked a judge to end his conservatorship over his cash cow daughter. A source said "Jamie wants to go to court in early February so Britney will be a free woman in every sense when she marries." It's the moment every father dreams of, watching his daughter walk down the isle of the courtroom to be declared relatively sane.

"Will you, Judge, declare my daughter legally competent, from this day forth? I do."
"And do you, Britney, promise to avoid sharp and shiny objects? I do"
"I know pronounce you legal tender for your new husband to cash in."

 
 
 

 

 

current MONTHLY MORON

January

 
It's the new year, which one of these blonde's 15 minutes is finally up?

Tara
 
Paris
 
Christina
 

 
 
 

more BLONDE MOMENTS

Britney Spears

 
21 January 2012 Idiot Status - You thought Britney Spears was Really Dumb

Spank me baby one more time. Ex-babysitter, Fernando Flores, claims to have a million dollar book deal which is said to reveal Britney's sexual antic's while on tour. Flores says "Britney has a huge sexual appetite..." going on to say "I heard stories of threesomes, orgies, girls making out - things that would make your hair stand on end" This guy is really milking the whole sexual harassment thing isn't he? This sounds more like a script from the American Pie franchise "This one time at band camp on tour I stuck a flute..."
 
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Christina Aguilera

 
14 January 2012 Idiot Status - You thought Christina Aguilera was Stupid

Colossal Christina couldn't care less about your gag reflex. While promoting her TV show 'The Voice', chubby Christina tried to convince herself others she wasn't a giant waste of space. Chubby Christina said "As long as I am happy in my own skin, that is all that is all the confirmation I need." going on to say "I have a boyfriend that loves my body," Your boyfriend likes your HUGE bank balance, he puts up with the ever increasing rest of you. It looks like Jessica Simpson's 'Weight Watchers' deal is in jeopardy.
 
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Justin Timberlake

 
7 January 2012 Idiot Status - You thought Justin Timberlake was Stupid

Could 2012 be starting with wedding bells? Justin Trouser-snake has supposedly proposed to Jessica Biel after a 3 month split making his way through Mila Kunis, Olivia Munn and Olivia Wilde. An insider broke the news saying "Justin knows how much she loves snowboarding and the mountains, so it was the perfect place," going on to say "When they reunited, they had a conversation about taking the next step." Oh so NOW he settles down after ruining a bevy of Hollywood hotties for everyone else. You know what they say, once you go Mouseketeer... you live in fear? No, that doesn't sound right. Umm, you long for big ears? No, not that... Why Mila? Why?!
 
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Lady Gaga

 
31 December 2011 Idiot Status - You thought Lady Gaga was Really Dumb

Gaga sued by ex-assistant. Jennifer O'Neill, Lady Gaga's ex-assistant, is suing for over 7168 hours of unpaid overtime at a cost of $380,000.00. In the suit O'Neill lists her duties as "ensuring the promptness of a towel following a shower and serving as a personal alarm clock to keep [Gaga] on schedule." She wants to get paid $380K for bringing a towel? Seems fair. I'm sure with all of Gaga's eccentricities bringing a towel would seem the less problematic of the options taken on by say the assistant that had to sew her into her meat dress, or the assistant that tucks the Gaga penis "between the cheeks" so no one catches on.
 
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Courtney Love

 
24 December 2011 Idiot Status - You thought Courtney Love was Stupid

On the street for Christmas. Donna Lyon, Courtney Love's slumlord, has filed papers to have Miss Love kicked out of her rented $8 million townhouse in the West Village. Donna wants to evict Courtney for "almost burning her house down, wallpapering over custom-glazed walls and not paying her rent for the past 2 months" Donna told Page Six "I was horrified by what she had done. The walls that had been hand-painted and glazed were ruined, covered in damask wallpaper and ice-blue paint" Well that seems a little harsh, evicting her for almost burning down your apartment - The keyword being "almost". As for the wallpaper, Courtney's an artist, she can't be expected to live with "custom-glazed walls", she needs to be free to express herself, free like a bird, out on the street and homeless. I retract my argument.
 
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celebrity QUOTES

"Sometimes I feel that there's a baby inside me that hasn't grown up yet. So Shakira can be a very confusing character."
Shakira

"Tall, sandy blonde, with sort of blue eyes, skinny in places, fat in others. An average gal." (Self Description)
Uma Thurman

"I don't have a Ph.D. in sex or counseling... I'm an actress. I wonder if George Clooney is better prepared to talk about surgeries because of ER." (on how she's always asked for advice)
Sarah Jessica Parker

More: Celebrity Quotes
 
 

dumb BLONDE JOKES

Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

A Blonde once lost $100 on a horse race once. $50 on the race and $50 on the replay.

Q: What's the difference between a smart Blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.

More: Dumb Blonde Jokes