"I thought National Geographic boobs only happened in the magazine. It wasn't until after I had the baby, I went, 'Oh, no!' And...every morning with the bra, you have to do 'the scoop'...That's what it's come to." (on her 'sagging')
Jenny McCarthy
Jenny McCarthy
current VILLAGE IDIOT
Pamela Anderson
6 February 2010
Pam ready to jiggle. In a final career swan song Pamela Anderson has signed up to appear in the next season of "Dancing with the Stars". The show has "agreed to all terms for a deal" reports RadarOnline. In all this my thoughts go out to her future dance partner unless of course he can convince the judges that motor boating is an official dance move.
current MONTHLY MORON
more BLONDE MOMENTS
Britney Spears
30 January 2010 Idiot Status -
Hotel Britney. Since the end of her tour Brit Twit has spent her days wondering the hallways of LA hotel 'Mondrian' speaking in a British accent mimicking Stewie from 'Family Guy'. Britney has since decided to make the hotel her home, even though she lives just up the road, with a hotel source saying "She uses the gym, is waited on and she uses the babysitting service." In the old days celebrities at a hotel meant watching out for the odd TV hurled from a window, now-a-days you have rednecks speaking in British accent's while staff prevent their offspring from chewing electrical cord. Same drugs, lower standards.
Madonna
23 January 2010 Idiot Status -
Madonna wants a baby Jesus. 'The Sun' reports that Madonna has consulted with doctors about conceiving at the age of 51 with current toy boy Jesus aged 22. Madonna told friends that Jesus would be a "fantastic dad" and "I have endless love in my heart for another child." I reckon if Madonna and Jesus keep their current sex schedule of whenever-Jesus-is-drunk-enough/out-of-lunch-money, Madonna could give birth sometime late 2012. What do you know, the Mayans were right.
Sharon Stone
16 January 2010 Idiot Status -
Basic beauty tips. Sharon Stone has denied getting any plastic surgery to Tatler magazine saying "I have had zero, nothing done to myself: no lifting, no Botox, no injectables." Sharon went on to say "We get different faces as we go through our lives. If you try to hang on to the face you had when you were younger, you end up desperate." Deny, deny, deny. It's the Hollywood way. I'm not saying she needs surgery, all I'm saying is she won't have to spread her legs too far to reveal her career starter come Basic Instinct 8.
Courtney Love
9 January 2010 Idiot Status -
Love's legal losses. After loosing custody of her daughter last year it seems that Courtney will be back in court fighting American Express over credit card debt of $352,059.67. Hole lead singer Courtney is fighting back saying criminals ran up the bill after the cards were issued in her name without her consent. Courtney has given the police a description of the supposed criminals using her cards. Apparently they are about 10'' tall and answer to the names Jack and Daniels. I want to see who she'll call as a character witness in her defense?
Paris Hilton
2 January 2010 Idiot Status -
Paris wants to be even more sparkly. Always ready to pounce the dim witted Paris hurled herself at two Twilight producers while they were at West Hollywood eatery Mario's. Paris blurted out "Hi, I'm Paris Hilton, and I'd love to audition for one of the leads in your next sequel!" Paris carried on about how she would bring "lots of publicity" until one producer ended it saying "Thanks, but we have more than enough publicity as it is!" Thanks for the offer Paris but there are enough monsters as is in the series without your crotch critters.
celebrity QUOTES
"I love body parts, especially hands."
Portia De Rossi
Portia De Rossi
"Well, I lost my virginity in a car. But it wasn't a very nice one."
Brittany Murphy
Brittany Murphy
"Everybody smokes! Models, actresses, everyone! Don't they realize that it's gross? I understand it's an addiction, but it still pains me to see my friends do it."
Kirsten Dunst
Kirsten Dunst
More: Celebrity Quotes
dumb BLONDE JOKES
Q: What do you call two blondes in a canoe?
A: Fur traders.
Q: What did the Blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing, they've never met.
Q: How do you recognize a Blonde at a car wash?
A: She's the one on her bike.
