"Sometimes I feel that there's a baby inside me that hasn't grown up yet. So Shakira can be a very confusing character."
Shakira

Jessica Simpson is

current VILLAGE IDIOT

Jessica Simpson



28 August 2010

Jessica from the block? Dim witted Jessica claims to have a "white girl booty" and would rather sit on her nipples, from what I can make out. Jessica told Closer magazine “I have a white girl booty. I don’t have a big butt. I’d rather have a happy medium and take some off my chest and put it towards my butt so I could balance out a bit.” Unless she's got some Hispanic heritage it's not called a booty, it's just called a fat ass.

 
 

 

current MONTHLY MORON

September

 

Which one of these blondes would you hangup on if they made a booty call?

Jessica
 
Donatella
 
Tara
 

 

more BLONDE MOMENTS

 

24 August 2010
In sad news today - Parisite continues to infest our world. A knife wielding intruder was caught by police while trying to break into pay-per-view Paris' house. Honestly, the Ninja standards of today just aren't up to scratch.


Paris Hilton

 

21 August 2010 Idiot Status - You thought Paris Hilton was Retarded

Hair today, gone tomorrow. Hairtech International Inc. is suing pseudo celeb Paris for $35 million because she was seen wearing another companies hair extensions in 2008 and missed a launch because she was in jail at the time. The company also claims Parisites partying has ruined their image and contradicts Hairtech’s marketing campaign. Let me get this straight, you gave porn star Paris your product believing somehow it would help your reputation? Did her claim to fame (aka - getting fucked on camera) not give any warning which direction the publicity would go?
 
More: Paris Hilton Gossip  |  Paris Hilton Quotes


Britney Spears

 

14 August 2010 Idiot Status - You thought Britney Spears was Really Stupid

Glee for Britney? In what can only be described as a rating bonanza, TV show Glee will feature an entire show focused on Brit Twit and her so called music with cameo appearances by Britney herself. However show boss Ryan Murphy went on to say "Britney, I think 100 per cent, is going to be on the episode. She is going to come and do a couple of scenes. We're handling Britney with sort of kid gloves." Now is the time for any Glee background dancers to make their claim to fame K-Fed style. All you need is low standards and a willingness to be covered in Frappuccino froth and dusted in Cheeto's dust.
 
More: Britney Spears Gossip  |  Britney Spears Quotes


Justin Timberlake

 

7 August 2010 Idiot Status - You thought Justin Timberlake was Dumb

Justin scared of his own shadow career. A former Mouseketeer since he was 12, Justin revealed that he is still uncomfortable with his career choices, everything from his singing to his acting. Justin told Scotland's Daily Record, "I think I'm equally insecure about both of them." Justin went on to talk about movie premiers saying "It's absolutely terrifying." He's better off retiring now and avoiding the curse of the Mouseketeer, need a mention Britney's career nosedive and subsequent investments in Frappachinos?
 
More: Justin Timberlake Gossip  |  Justin Timberlake Quotes


Paris Hilton

 

31 July 2010 Idiot Status - You thought Paris Hilton was Retarded

Parasite ready to pop. The always delusional pay-per-view Paris has decided to release another collection of her muffled screams most likely for use in interrogating future terrorist's suspects caught in Iraq. Dim witted Paris somehow believes her music is similar to Kylie Minogue saying "I've been really inspired by her. I wanted my music to kind of emulate her." Pseudo celeb Paris went on to warn mankind saying "I've finished recording my record... The album's going to be out in a few months." Alright, everybody, mass suicide at my place in a few months, bring your own Kool-Aid mixture, we want to make this quick and pain free.
 
More: Paris Hilton Gossip  |  Paris Hilton Quotes

celebrity QUOTES

"I'm superstitious... but not like wear the same underwear for two weeks superstitious"
Kate Hudson

"The playboy rumors are funny. They call me 'Trouser Snake'."
Justin Timberlake

"I thought National Geographic boobs only happened in the magazine. It wasn't until after I had the baby, I went, 'Oh, no!' And...every morning with the bra, you have to do 'the scoop'...That's what it's come to." (on her 'sagging')
Jenny McCarthy

More: Celebrity Quotes

dumb BLONDE JOKES

Did you hear about the two females who were watching a Blonde walk by? The first one said, "I wonder whether she's a natural Blonde or a bleached Blonde." Her friend said, "She's a suicide Blonde." The other said, "Suicide Blonde? What's that? "The friend said, "Dyed by her own hand!"

Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.

A Blonde woman is driving a Porsche. She sees another Blonde woman with a Porsche that has broken down on the side of the road. She stops to ask what's wrong. The owner of the broken Porsche said, "I just had a look under the hood, well, while I was driving somebody had stolen the engine." The other said, "Oh, don't worry, I have a spare one in the back."

More: Dumb Blonde Jokes