more BLONDE MOMENTS

14 November 2009
Biblical plague to wipe out world. With her ego inflated just enough to mount an aerial and audio attack on civilization pseudo celeb Paris will embark on her very first world tour for her second album. Parisite's previous aural assault managed to infest the Billboard 200 making it to sixth place encouraging her to once again attempt world domination - sans vagina. Did I miss something somewhere? Who in their right mind would contemplate buying a Paris Hilton CD? Normally I would blame the heir head herself but this is clearly your fault. You know who you are. Sitting their all smug with your copy of 'Paris'. You'll be sorry, just you wait until the second coming, the Biblical one, not Paris' backstage antics.

10 November 2009
Brit nailed down under. Fans and politicians in Australia have complained about the so called “performances” by Brit Twit on her Circus tour saying she lip-synched most of the songs resulting in some fans walking out. One politician went so far as to say Australians would not tolerate "Mickey Mouse" performance, ironic considering Brit was once a Mouseketeer.

Jessica Simpson

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7 November 2009 Idiot Status -

Big sister Jess steps in. Acting and TV aficionado Jessica decided the world needed to know her thoughts on Melrose Place after little sis, Ashlee, was dropped from the show. Jessica said "CW catching up on MP.who writes this crap?i have had bad scripts to work with,but this?thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press" Take that stupid high ratings show, nothing will compare to the TV magic of 'The Newlyweds' - bad scripts and all. Melrose Place should be happy to have a member of the Simpson clan on their show, papa Joe even waived the normal hourly rate he charges when pimping out promoting his daughters. More: Jessica Simpson Gossip  |  Jessica Simpson Quotes

Paris Hilton

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31 October 2009 Idiot Status -

Paris ditches Doug. Pseudo celeb Paris headed straight for the exist on the weekend while at boyfriend Doug Reinhardt's birthday party in nightclub Wasted Space. Paris caught site of previous bedroom captive, Benji Madden, who was performing and immediately made a getaway leaving Doug to enjoy the night Parisite free. A source said "She was freaking out big time and was desperate not to bump into him. It's quite clear they didn't end on good terms." Normally Paris' gift's last a long and itchy lifetime but I think her absence will go down as welcome relief, much like the ointment prescribed after every Paris Hilton encounter. More: Paris Hilton Gossip  |  Paris Hilton Quotes

Pamela Anderson

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24 October 2009 Idiot Status -

I dream of Pamela? Miss Anderson will spend Christmas in England playing the Genie of the lamp in the panto 'Aladdin' at London's New Wimbledon Theatre. Unfortunately for Pamela she will only receive the Equity flat rate of £375, but as we all know she's in it for the love of acting. Something tells me there's going to be a few guys in the audience rubbing something with Genie in mind. I wonder if this Genie will grant any wishes, and by "wishes" I mean lap dances? More: Pamela Anderson Gossip  |  Pamela Anderson Quotes

celebrity QUOTES

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dumb BLONDE JOKES

One day a Blonde is sitting in a bar trying to spear the olive in his drink with a toothpick, but the olive always eluded him. Finally a guy sitting next to the Blonde picked up a toothpick and said "Here this is how you do it" and neatly speared the olive. "Big deal" said the Blonde "I already had him so tired he couldn't get away."

Q: Did you hear about the sophisticated Blonde?
A: She thought her period was French Provincial.

Q: Why was the Blonde fired from the m & m factory?
A: She kept throwing out the w's.

More: Dumb Blonde Jokes

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