Celebrity Blonde:
Gwyneth PaltrowDate of Birth: 28 September 1972
Place of Birth: USA
Profession: Actress
Quote: "Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick."
Appearances: 22
Idiot Status:
11 May 2013 Idiot Status -
So bored, so terribly bored. Miss Paltrow has vowed to never attend another Met Ball ever again complaining about, well, random shit. Gwyneth said "I'm never going again. It was so un-fun. It was boiling. It was too crowded. I did not enjoy it at all" Well I'm sure her majesty will be missed. I can't imagine the pain and suffering she endured pitching up and standing around essentially doing nothing while wearing expensive clothes and jewelry. I wonder if Amnesty International would be interested in helping?
2 March 2013 Idiot Status -
Just hanging around. Always keen to try a new diet or exercise fad Gwyneth told of her experience in an AntiGravity Hammocks, as opposed to those pesky gravity hammocks? We spent an afternoon in Richard Holroyd's intimate studio that houses four AntiGravity Hammocks - basically a hammock made of silk that you can lie, hang, stretch in and more. At first, we just got used to being in the swing - part of what makes it so special is the sense of suspension. Then Richard showed us several moves with the hammock. In comparison to other yoga classes, the moves felt constructive without feeling like a chore. And that officer is how we found the body. Just hanging there. I'm pretty sure all that blood rushing to her brain isn't helping as much as she thinks it is.
9 June 2012 Idiot Status -
Gwyn-dog from da hood! One time Miss Shakespeare, now full time gansta, Gwyneth tweeted a pic of herself with rapper "The Dream" and tagged the photo "Ni**as in paris for real". Needless to say pasty white chicks don't get very far with such language and a swarm of controversy has raged over her racist tweet. Bitch has balls. What's a white girl to do when the attentions not on her? To be fair I thought it was just some free publicity for fellow blonde Paris Hilton's newly released follow up to her only successful endeavour.
24 March 2012 Idiot Status -
Skinny smack down. Gwyneth didn't make any friends while jogging on the beach when she made a snide comment about Kate Moss eating some crisps. Kate supposedly asked Gwyneth why she was jogging to which Miss Shakespeare responded "So I don't look like you when I get old" Needless to say Kate wasn't too impressed throwing the bag of crisps at her and shouting "Why don't you eat some fucking carbs!" And in this corner weighing in at... is that a negative number? What about that corner? Get out. Seriously? Why do you think she was jogging in the first place? She's already had her peeled grape for the day, those grams aren't going to shed themselves.
4 June 2011 Idiot Status -
Too posh to plead. Miss Paltrow is kicking herself after investing in a private club in Dover Street, London, which she hoped to persuade famous friends to join. Unfortunately for poor Paltrow non of her celeb friends were willing to pay the initial £1,000 membership fee with a source saying "Gwyneth contacted all her friends and thought they'd sign up." Sign up now and you'll get to pay an excessive amount to hang out with virtually no famous people. But wait, there's more. If you sign up in the next decade you also get a signed copy of Gwyneth's debut album she burnt on her very own computer.
1 January 2011 Idiot Status -
It's like the blind leading the blind. In her new movie "Country Strong" Gwyneth Paltrow's character is supposedly based on the downward spiral of Britney Spears. The writer-director Shana Feste said "That's where this movie came from. I mean, I was seeing what was happening in the media to Britney Spears," And from the media publicity she came up with a story of a drug addict? Sounds about right. Book now to see Gwyneth in a Frappuccino induced daze blowing a Cinnamon Roll for her next fix at a cinema near you.
25 July 2009 Idiot Status -
Blonde box office battle. Miss Paltrow is pissed after being snubbed by movie producers in favour of Scarlett Johansson on movie posters for 'Iron Man 2'. A source said "Gwyneth was afraid she'd be upstaged by Scarlett and not being in the campaign was the final straw. She is furious she's been left out." So Gwyneth's surprised that she's lost face time to a giant pair of breasts cavorting on screen - How long has she been in Hollywood? Maybe it's time she fights back Hollywood style, nothing makes headlines like celebs in rehab... except maybe giant breast's.
28 March 2009 Idiot Status -
Moving for millions. In these ever increasingly difficult times faced by celeb's it's hard not to feel sorry for Miss Paltrow who will be forced to move from London to LA to appear in Ironman 2. Gwyneth was complaining that she had to move to sunny LA and enjoy way too much money saying "... I'm always doing school runs and I'm always around - and then I just disappear for 14 hours a day to film - it's hard." Career woman have never had it so hard. When will this male chauvinistic world learn that you can't just throw millions of dollars at a woman for playing make believe. Somebody give me a bra, I need something to burn.
14 June 2008 Idiot Status -
Bring on the swollen ankles. Mother of two Gwyneth Paltrow plans on getting knocked up again going so far as to force herself to get pregnant, most likely with hubby Chris Martin but as of yet not confirmation. Gwyneth told Harper's Bazaar "I may force myself to do it one more time because the result is so worth it.". How romantic, forced impregnation. I'm not sure how she's going to force it but I think the next Coldplay album might be slightly delayed if she succeeds. The big question is... what will this one be called?
10 May 2008 Idiot Status -
Putting her best foot forward. Miss Paltrow is, by her own admission, a moron having broken her toes 30 times and now fracturing her knee on the set of the new Iron Man movie saying "In my stupidity I bashed into something,". Gwyneth told US talk show host David Letterman "I don't know what's wrong with me. It's inexplicable." Inexplicable? No, that's not the word, but you are close. It's one word and starts with a B... have you figured it out yet? Blindfolded - possibly, Bloody - could be, Blonde... we have a winner.
