Date of Birth: 17 February 1981
Place of Birth: USA
Quote: "I wanna have like a family and a guy. Y'know, it just upsets me because I'm not anything like what people say about me, and this cartoon character that they've made of me is just completely false. It makes me mad that I'm such a good person and I'm treated like that by some people, I just don't get it."
22 June 2013 Idiot Status -
More "musical" mayhem. For some unknown reason, heir head Hilton has been signed up to lil Wayne's label 'Young Money Entertainment'. Lil Wayne tweeted at the time "Lil Wayne's Cash Money family has a new member! Paris Hilton: RichgangRichgirl." Porn star Paris tweeted back "Love Lil Wayne, he is so amazing! Can't wait for our new song! #I<3YMCMB" She went on to tell Showbiz411 "[the new album] is a lot different than my first album. It's really going to be house music." Well the good news is, we won't have to listen to her. The bad news is we're stuck listening to random scratching noises she makes, not on vinyl, rather her now inflamed lady bits. Another one for itchy venereal disease jokes.
8 December 2012 Idiot Status -
DJ itch, in da house. With a plethora of venereal diseases to practice her scratching skills, pseudo celeb Paris has decided to go big and scratch as a DJ releasing another collection of random sounds we'll all wish we never heard. I'm assuming her scratching as a DJ will still involve her nether regions, I don't hold out much hope for her having the faintest of actual DJing skills. Maybe her mixing skills could come in handy, mixing cocktails of course to drown her sorrows, once again no actual DJ skills.
24 November 2012 Idiot Status -
Make room for the ego. Pseudo celeb Paris has unleashed a storm of controversy tweeting a picture of herself along with "Loving my beautiful new store that just opened at Mecca Mall in Saudi Arabia!". This irked a few people with comments like "Saudi claim there are other ways to allow for pilgrims, and if religiosity is of such importance, why is Paris Hilton being allowed a store in Mecca?", referring to her porn past "How can someone who made such a video open a store in the holy city next to the Grand Mosque?" and "The world is a corrupt place at the moment. Someone please send me to Mars" Ignoring the comments heir-head Paris tweeted "So proud to keep growing my brand!" It doesn't matter how many stores she opens or how big her so called "brand"" is, at the end of the day we're all remembered for our actions and all she'll be remembered for is getting screwed on camera and spiralling out of control in a desperate attempt to become relevant.
13 October 2012 Idiot Status -
Paris' AIDS gets boyfriend locked up, or something like that. After her homophobic remarks earlier, Paris managed to cause an altercation by making her boyfriend, River Viiperi, jealous by kissing another girl. Enraged at yet another reason to sterilize his genitals, Viiperi, hit the boyfriend of the girl pseudo celeb Paris was making out with resulting in the police being called in. On top of all that, Paris didn't hang around for the cops leaving soon after the altercation. Seeing that all gay people have AIDS, according to Paris at least, that must mean she finally has the whole STD collection. Sure some people might collect baseball cards or figurines, not Paris, nothing brings a tear to Paris' eye like an uncontrollable burning sensation.
22 September 2012 Idiot Status -
Racisms so last season, homophobia on the other hand! While in a cab in the early hours of the morning after New York Fashion Week, pseudo celeb Paris was recorded by the cab driver saying gay men are "gross" and have "AIDS". A friend she was with was describing how some gay men hooked up via a service like 'Grindr' to which Paris responded "They're disgusting. Dude, most of them probably have AIDS." From the authority of gross and more than likely infected. Sorry, my mistake, it must be Herpes, AIDS is the poor mans STD. I'm gonna throw in some Syphilis to explain the dementia as well.
4 August 2012 Idiot Status -
Guess who found "love" in a hopeless place? Desperate for love and attention pseudo celeb Paris has been posting pic's of herself and Chris Brown together in the South of France. Stand back Cupid and let the
7 April 2012 Idiot Status -
Paris forgotten. During an interview with Sunrise pseudo celeb Paris was asked about her fleeting fame which she didn't take kindly too. When asked ""about when you're not famous anymore, what are you going to do?" Paris responded "just wants to be able to have children and have a normal life with my kids" Later Paris' publicist told the show she was not happy being reminded of the obvious and threatened to ban the show from the red carpet at the club opening that night. She's disappearing from the spot light and her publicist wants to ban media from her upcoming event's? Ix nay on the fleeting fame-ay. How dare you imply getting screwed on camera and arrested for drunk driving was all for nothing. How do you think Meryl Streep got to where she is now... sorry? Talent and hard work you say?
3 March 2012 Idiot Status -
Yes, she's still alive. Everyone's favourite STD source is apparently still around, not that anyone gives a shit. If your not going to have a fake wedding then don't bother. True to her conceited ways, the now forgotten porn star is throwing the 'ol 2 week long birthday with her birthday starting 17 February. She's 31! You don't get "My Super Sweet 31". That's just depressing when the antics, of what should be a mature women, are pretty much level with that of a spoiled 16 year old rich kid. Then again that's all she is, just with more wrinkles. Happy forgotten/irrelevant birthday.
26 November 2011 Idiot Status -
Paris' posh pooch. While in paradise isle Bali, pseudo celeb ordered a $50 steak for a stray dog and naturally made the best of a PR situation. Parisite tweeted "Saw a starving stray on the beach of the restaurant. Made me so sad. So we ordered him a filet mignon, he loved it! Don't get me wrong, good for the dog, but does everything have to be a publicity stunt? Stop the presses, "Hey everybody, saw a piece of paper. Made me so sad. Picked it up and threw it in the dustbin.", wait, where's my extra 15 minutes? Damn Kardashians.
17 September 2011 Idiot Status -
Paris' celebritydom, take 2. With her latest TV show being snuffed out, pseudo celeb Paris is trying her hand at becoming a House DJ. Parisite is supposedly shadowing various DJ's, including Afrojack and Deadmau5, in hopes of learning a thing or two and even plans to appear on stage with Deadmau5. After hearing of this Deadmau5 quickly posted on Facebook "HEY WORLD... im not teaching Paris Hilton how to DJ. fuck already!" Well that cleared up that rumour, her career ends before it even begins. So that's porn, TV, movies and music all out the window. Next up "Paris the (insert spotlight hogging, talent optional career here)"