Sick of it All

A Blonde hurries into the hospital emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the Blonde replied. "What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting off the tip of your finger?" "No, silly!" the Blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought I just paid $6000 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest." "So, then?" asked the doctor. "Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, I just paid $3000 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth." "So, then?" "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought, This is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a Blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier, "he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "What sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?" The Blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh," You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

A guy walked into the doctor's surgery for an appointment. "Would you like to tell me your problem?" the pretty Blonde receptionist asked. "I'll need the information for the doctor." "It's rather embarrassing," the guy stammered. "You see, I have a very large and almost constant erection." "Well, the doctor is very busy today," the receptionist cooed, "but maybe I can squeeze you in."

Q: Why don't Blondes like to breast feed their children?
A: Because it hurts when they boil their nipples.

Q: Why did the Blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: What do you call a Blonde with two brain cell's?
A: Pregnant.

Q: How does a Blondes brain cell's die?
A: Alone.

Q: How do you get a Blonde pregnant?
A: And I thought Blondes where dumb.

Anxious wife: Is there no hope, doctor?
Blonde doctor: I don't know, what are you hoping for?

Did you hear about the Blonde who gave birth to twins? Her husband is out looking for the other man.

Q: How do you give a Blonde a brain transplant?
A: Blow in her ear.

Maggie's first pregnancy had produced triplets . With considerable pride she was telling her Blonde friend how this happened once in every 200 000 times. The Blondes eyes widened, "Beats me how you ever found time to do any housework."

Did you hear about the overweight Blonde woman that went to her doctor complaining about her lack of a sex life. "I have a solution," said the doctor. "Diet and everything will be okay." "What color?" asked the Blonde.

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had had happened to her ears. "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang, but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ... what happened to your other ear?" "The son-of-a-bitch called back."

A Blonde a Brunette and a Redhead are in the doctor's office one day (all of them pregnant) All of them started talking about their pregnancy's and the Brunette said "I'm going to have a girl, because I was on top when we had sex." The Redhead said "I'm going to have a boy because I was on the bottom when we had sex." Then the Blonde started crying and said "I'm going to have puppy's ..."

One day a Blonde guy went to the doctor and said that he thought he was turning into a women. So the doctor gave him a thorough examination and afterwards said "It seems to me that you are still a healthy man, Why do you think your turning into a woman?" "Because" said the Blonde "I keep getting these letter's that say 'Dear Sir or Madam'"

"Tell me" said the psychiatrist "do you stir your tea with your left hand or your right hand" "Neither" said the Blonde "I use a spoon."

Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and the mumps?
A: Not everyone's had the mumps.

Q: Did you hear about the Blonde who had two chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times.

Q: How do you get a Blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her that she's pregnant.