current VILLAGE IDIOT
Madonna
4 February 2012
Money mad Madonna. The material girl won't let a poor mans recession inhibit her ability to grow her collection of adopted kids. No sir, Madonna will continue touring squeezing every last drop of money from her fans claiming to have raked in $408 million from her last tour. Madonna defended her delusions saying "People spend $300 on crazy things all the time, things like handbags. So work all year, scrape the money together, and come to my show. I'm worth it." So you can either buy a bag or watch an old bag gyrate on stage for an hour? No wonder we're in a recession.
current MONTHLY MORON
more BLONDE MOMENTS
Britney Spears
28 January 2012 Idiot Status -
Early wedding gift. You're free! Brit Twits dad, Jamie Spears, has asked a judge to end his conservatorship over his
"Will you, Judge, declare my daughter legally competent, from this day forth? I do."
"And do you, Britney, promise to avoid sharp and shiny objects? I do"
"I know pronounce you legal tender for your new husband to cash in."
Britney Spears
21 January 2012 Idiot Status -
Spank me baby one more time. Ex-babysitter, Fernando Flores, claims to have a million dollar book deal which is said to reveal Britney's sexual antic's while on tour. Flores says "Britney has a huge sexual appetite..." going on to say "I heard stories of threesomes, orgies, girls making out - things that would make your hair stand on end" This guy is really milking the whole sexual harassment thing isn't he? This sounds more like a script from the American Pie franchise "This one time
Christina Aguilera
14 January 2012 Idiot Status -
Colossal Christina couldn't care less about your gag reflex. While promoting her TV show 'The Voice', chubby Christina tried to convince
Justin Timberlake
7 January 2012 Idiot Status -
Could 2012 be starting with wedding bells? Justin Trouser-snake has supposedly proposed to Jessica Biel after a 3 month split making his way through Mila Kunis, Olivia Munn and Olivia Wilde. An insider broke the news saying "Justin knows how much she loves snowboarding and the mountains, so it was the perfect place," going on to say "When they reunited, they had a conversation about taking the next step." Oh so NOW he settles down after ruining a bevy of Hollywood hotties for everyone else. You know what they say, once you go Mouseketeer... you live in fear? No, that doesn't sound right. Umm, you long for big ears? No, not that... Why Mila? Why?!
Lady Gaga
31 December 2011 Idiot Status -
Gaga sued by ex-assistant. Jennifer O'Neill, Lady Gaga's ex-assistant, is suing for over 7168 hours of unpaid overtime at a cost of $380,000.00. In the suit O'Neill lists her duties as "ensuring the promptness of a towel following a shower and serving as a personal alarm clock to keep [Gaga] on schedule." She wants to get paid $380K for bringing a towel? Seems fair. I'm sure with all of Gaga's eccentricities bringing a towel would seem the less problematic of the options taken on by say the assistant that had to sew her into her meat dress, or the assistant that tucks the Gaga penis "between the cheeks" so no one catches on.
celebrity QUOTES
Anne Heche
Gwen Stephanie
Jenny McCarthy
More: Celebrity Quotes
dumb BLONDE JOKES
A Blonde goes in to apply for a job and she fills out an application. She takes it up to the man and he says you forgot three blanks. He asks how old are you, so she counts on her fingers and finally reaches 22, okay then how tall are you so she tries to measure herself she says 5'2, okay then what is your name, she nodes her head back and forth for a few seconds and says Jennifer. He said, "Okay I get how you got your age and your height, but how did you get your name by nodding your head back and forth?" She replies, "I was singing 'Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Jennifer ...'"
Q: Why do blondes wear earmuffs?
A: To avoid the draft
Q: How can you tell if a Blonde works in an office?
A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.
