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Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow


28 September 1972, USA

"I'm really fucking good at my job, and people who are interesting and good know that. That's all that matters."
Stupid x 59

Gwyneth Paltrow Gossip and News

Village Idiot for 24 Jun 2017, Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth is Done with Acting

Gwyneth revealed that she's more interested in the world of business than acting. Gwyneth said "I'm not sure how I'll feel about acting going forward. I'm doing just a teensy little bit here and there when I have time, but I am loving running my business". Basically she thinks she's better at dispensing dodgy medical advice than acting, and she's right. Warning, inserting jade eggs into your vagina will not make you better at business but might induce hallucinations.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 27 May 2017, Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth is Open to Being Fucked

Gwyneth revealed that in business she's open to being fucked with, as long as you bring your A game. On the Fast Company panel Gwyneth said "I'm interested in criticism based on fact, not on projections" going on to say "If you want to f**k with me, bring your A game!" Those jade eggs she smuggles in her vagina must be acting like a set of balls. Get your Gwyneth Paltrow lubed jade eggs for $99 while stocks last.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 1 Apr 2017, Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Knows Another Place to Stick a Jade Egg

Gwyneth's Goop site recently released their sex issue talking about everything from porn to anal sex. The site notorious for promoting shoving jade egg's into vagina's now wants every nook and crevice available for future jade egg purchases. I guess there's nothing Gwyneth won't do for money, just BYOL (Bring Your Own Lube), their Tibetan Yak Saliva Lube is overpriced.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 4 Feb 2017, Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Knows Where You Can Stick It

Gwyneth Paltrow has moved on from steaming her vagina and is now recommending you stick jade eggs up there instead. However, as you might have guessed a few doctors have come out and recommended not sticking jade eggs in your vagina because modern science or something. I always wondered if girls had "family jewels", now we know. Anyway, the secrets out now, the next celebrity robbed in Paris is getting a full cavity search thanks to Gwyneth.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 7 Jan 2017, Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow Takes Aim at Chris Martin

Gwyneth Paltrow says her ex Chris Martin would "take a bullet for her", whether he wants to or not I assume. In an interview with InStyle Gwyneth talked about her relationship with her conscious uncoupling partner saying "And to this day, Chris would take a bullet for me," Paltrow adds, "even though I'm not his wife." Does she know that after the divorce he removed her from his will? I'm pretty sure the kids are the only ones getting something out of this theory of hers.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 24 Dec 2016, Gwyneth Paltrow

Can You Help Gwyneth Paltrow with her G Spot?

The always creative Miss Paltrow has created a travel app called G. Spotting. It's basically a group of guides organized by personality type like foodie and hipster because why pretend to be normal now. Gwyneth even said she prefers to ask truck drivers where to get pizza instead of hotel concierge. That's right people, Gwyneth Paltrow, her lady bits and truck drivers all in one post. You do the math.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 26 Nov 2016, Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth has Some Interesting World Views

Gwyneth Paltrow revealed her views on the world at a recent AirBnB conference which looked at everything from raising her children to US politics. To start with when asked about traveling with children she jokingly recommended "Xanax and alcohol". She went on to politics saying it was "an exciting time to be an American" despite the divide in the country. I suppose everything's exciting when you start the day with Gwyneth's custom Xanax and alcohol cocktail. Not now kids, mommies thinking about who to vote for.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 1 Oct 2016, Gwyneth Paltrow

You Guys Need to Stop Being Sexist

Gwyneth thinks she gets no respect because we're all sexist. In an interview with Lena Dunham, Gwyneth talked about GOOP saying "Everybody wants you in the caricature of you if you're a woman" and "If you start to cast that off, it makes people very uncomfortable," We hate her because shes a girl, so that settles that. It has nothing to do with the ridiculousness of her steamed vagina practices or hawking over priced crap.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 13 Aug 2016, Gwyneth Paltrow

Goop Consciously Uncouples from Goop

Gwyneth Paltrow has decided to distance herself from her lifestyle brand that was even named after her, Goop. Gwyneth said "My dream is that one day no one would remember that I have anything to do with it." That's quite the sales pitch. It doesn't matter how much she tries to distance herself, her steamed vagina practices will always precede her Oscar glory.
Stupid
Village Idiot for 30 Jul 2016, Gwyneth Paltrow

Everybody Hates Gwyneth

Readers of Star magazine have voted Miss Paltrow as the "Most Hated Celebrity" above all others. When asked what she thought about it Gwyneth replied "First of all, I was like, 'I'm the most hated celebrity? More than, like, Chris Brown?'" she asked. "What did I do?" The people have spoken, no amount of vaginal steam cleaning or fad diets will ease the discomfort of this title.
Really Stupid