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Madonna Gossip and News
Village Idiot for 11 Feb 2017, Madonna
Madonna Completes Her Collection
It's been revealed that Madonna was given permission by the Malawian high court to adopt four-year-old twins Stella and Esther. Now that she owns 2/3rds of the population she is officially the countries leader and can now battle it out with her nemesis Donald Trump at the UN. I think that's how adoption works, I could be wrong. International politics is complicated.
Village Idiot for 28 Jan 2017, Madonna
Madonna Wants to Blow Up the White House?
At one of the recent Women's Marches around the world Madonna said something that got everyone's attention, including the Secret Service. During the Women's March on Washington Madonna said "thought an awful lot about blowing up the White House". Madonna has since said it was a metaphor and taken out of context. The bad news is she's probably on a no fly list by now, the good news is Gitmo weather is lovely this time of year.
Village Idiot for 10 Dec 2016, Madonna
Madonna's Scandalous Malawi Fundraiser
Madonna decided to take things up a notch for a fundraiser for Malawi's first pediatric surgery and intensive care unit that would be renamed Mercy James Institute of Pediatric Surgery and Intensive Care, after Madonna's adopted daughter. During proceedings Madonna performed Britney Spears' "Toxic" and even offered to remarry her ex, Sean Penn if he bid $150,000, which he did. Madonna carried on with random insults about Trump and admitted the most outrageous thing she ever did was stick around as an entertainer for 34 years and then threatened to sick around for another 34 years if she felt like it. Somethings gone terribly wrong with the space time continuum. Madonna is remarrying Sean Penn and planning on sticking around for another 3 decades. Somehow she got her hands on a flux capacitor, we need Doc and Marty.
Village Idiot for 19 Nov 2016, Madonna
Madonna is a Messy Drunk
Madonna shocked onlookers when she decided to roll around on the floor with a glass of wine in her hand at a recent London art exhibit. Madonna then proceeded to lift her leg in the air showing off her zebra print heels to all those gathered around her. It seems like there are now two things that can send Madonna to the floor, a glass of wine and wearing a cape on a flight of stairs.
Village Idiot for 22 Oct 2016, Madonna
Madonna Threatens Oral Sex
Madonna opened for Amy Schumer at Madison Square Garden and used the opportunity to talk politics. Madonna threatened everyone saying "If you vote for Hillary Clinton, I will give you a blow job - and I'm good!" This is the biggest "blow" to Hillary's campaign since the email scandal. She says Vote Hillary but then threatens everyone with grandma oral sex clearly indicating Vote Trump.
Village Idiot for 8 Oct 2016, Madonna
Zika Should Fear Madonna
Madonna has announced she plans on going ahead with her performance at Art Basel Miami at Faena Forum. The event is billed as "an evening of music, art, mischief and live performance with Madonna" but some people are skipping it over Zika concerns. Well of course Madonna doesn't have to worry, all her blood dried up back in the 80's and now she's operated by a pulley and lever system controlled by a little man in her head.
Village Idiot for 28 May 2016, Madonna
Madonna's Terrible Tribute
Madonna has responded to critics after she was slammed for her tribute performance to Prince at the Billboard Music Awards. Madonna took to Instagram saying "Whatever your age Gender or skin Color. If you loved him and he inspired you then show it!!!! I love Prince 4 ever" along with a video where she said "This is my 'I'm not your bitch don't hang your s**t on me' dance" It was later followed by her "Why is everyone picking on me, just remember 80's Madonna" fetal position.
Village Idiot for 19 Mar 2016, Madonna
Madonna's Gone Mad
Recent weeks have seen Madonna's behaviour deteriorate further as she appeared 4 hours late for an event in Australia dressed as a clown and riding a tricycle. This has followed more late appearances and claims of her drinking or being high with her response being "I'm never late. Well, hardly ever late" I'm just waiting for her to shave her head like Britney and attack someone with an umbrella.
Village Idiot for 5 Mar 2016, Madonna
Angry Judge is Not Happy with Madonna
Madonna and former hubby Guy Ritchie were in court fighting over custody of their son Rocco but court proceedings didn't go well with the judge blaming both parents for dragging things out in court instead of finding the best solution for their son. Sounds like the grownups need to grow up.
Village Idiot for 13 Feb 2016, Madonna
Madonna's Wardrobe Mishap
There was a near repeat of the infamous cape tug that sent Madonna to the stage floor at the Brits. This mishap at her concert in Bangkok, Thailand saw a long veil almost do the same when it caught on her face as backup dancers pulled at it. After some awkward struggling she was able to complete the song, ironically titled, "Material Girl". Pull me to the ground once, shame on you. Pull me to the ground twice... who the hell came up with this plan?