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Paris Hilton Gossip and News
Village Idiot for 13 May 2017, Paris Hilton
Selfie Starter or Armageddon Instigator?
Pseudo celeb Paris claims that she invented the selfie and admits to her part in destroying mankind. Paris told W Magazine "If a beeper had a camera, I would have taken a selfie with it," going on to say "I think I have a selfie from when I was a little kid, like on a disposable camera". Porn star Paris went on to admit to her crimes against humanity saying "We started a whole new genre of celebrity that no one had seen before" claiming it's now "so easy becoming famous, anybody with a phone can do it." So how do I contact the Hague to get the ball rolling on this one?
Village Idiot for 17 Sep 2016, Paris Hilton
Hilton Gives Horny Homeless a Hand
A homeless man was spared a life of pain and misery when Porn Star Paris gave him money instead of sleeping with him. A homeless man had been standing outside the Bagatelle asking for money telling people it was for "pizza and sex". According to a witness pseudo celeb Paris "gave the man a crisp Benjamin Franklin." I assume it was all down to scheduling, $100 normally gets you a half day girlfriend experience with Paris.
Village Idiot for 6 Aug 2016, Paris Hilton
ISIS is Targeting Paris... Hilton?
Porn star Paris thinks ISIS will target her because she's so famous. Paris told a Spanish newspaper "I'm constantly moving around from one country to another and I'm a famous person who could be a definite target for an attack" I'm pretty sure she's safe, no one in their right mind would go near her considering the weapons grade STD's she amassed over the years. The again it wouldn't hurt to have her holed up in a bunker for the next 10, 20 or even 100 years until the the threat has passed.
Village Idiot for 16 Jan 2016, Paris Hilton
The Beginning of the End
In a recent interview Porn Star Paris revealed that she created her "baby voice" to manipulate her parents and boyfriends to get what she wanted. Paris said "[The baby voice] developed when I was like really young. If I wanted to get something from my dad, I'd be like, 'Dad, I really want this!" It's all down to bad parenting so make sure you smack your kids, you don't want to create another pseudo celeb.
Village Idiot for 15 Aug 2015, Paris Hilton
No one Wants to Touch Perfect Paris
In a recent interview Paris Hilton claimed that her doctor refuses to give her botox because her skin is "perfect". Paris said "I even asked my dermatologist if I should do it and he's like, 'I refuse to do it to you... Your skin is perfect. I will not do it to you until you need it and I don't know if you ever will.'" I'm sure we all believe that as much as we believe her sex tape was stolen and distributed against her will.
Village Idiot for 4 Jul 2015, Paris Hilton
Paris Plans the Perfect Prank
Paris said she wasn't happy after an Egyptian TV show played a prank on her pretending the plane she was in was about to crash. Since the prank Paris was "totally freaked out" and wanted to sue the TV show until reports revealed she was in on it the entire time. Oh Paris, you prankster you. Next thing you'll tell us it wasn't you spreading your legs on camera to become famous.
Village Idiot for 6 Jun 2015, Paris Hilton
Paris' Pregnancy Plans
In an interview Paris said she would name her first child London, regardless of gender. Paris said in the interview "I'm definitely going to dress mine up. [If it was a girl], they'd be in all pink and fluffy, little princess dresses, not like Toddlers and Tiaras style, a little bit more toned down," going on to say "I'm going to name her London, or him. Whoever is first is going to be named London." Or, if it's a boy she could always call him Big Ben because, well, imagination. She was going to name it after it's place of conception but Alley's are normally found behind Hilton's.
Village Idiot for 17 Jan 2015, Paris Hilton
Paris' Pampered Pooch
Paris wants to hire a full time nanny for her new micro-mini teacup Pomeranian. An insider said "She is thinking about getting the dog its own nanny. It's so small she needs someone to feed it as if it were a newborn baby." A nanny is the dogs only chance of survival, God knows what happened to her previous pet projects. I can imagine a giant pet cemetery in her backyard with tombstones reading "Too Old", "Not Cute Anymore", "Knows Too Much".
Village Idiot for 20 Dec 2014, Paris Hilton
Paris Got an Apology?
Porn Star Paris received an apology from Cameron Lacroix after he hacked into her cellphone account back in 2005. Cameron described the hack saying "I looked (Paris) up and sure enough it was under her name. I went into it and was shocked at what I saw." He was shocked at what he saw? A quick internet search would have prepared him for the horrors in the house of Hilton. When do we get an apology from her for all those years we had to put up with her shit?
Village Idiot for 16 Aug 2014, Paris Hilton
Paris Scratches her Bits for Money
Pseudo celeb Paris apparently earns $347k per hour as a DJ at Ibiza's club "Amnesia". Page Six reports that Porn Star Paris made "$2.7 million in the short span of four days on her two-month DJ tour" Well the club name explains it all, I'm pretty sure it would take a swift blow to the head for someone to pay her for pitching up and pressing play.