Village Idiot for 24 Dec 2016, Gwyneth Paltrow
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By MingleMediaTVNetwork (Gwyneth Paltrow) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Gwyneth Paltrow as the Village Idiot

Can You Help Gwyneth Paltrow with her G Spot?

The always creative Miss Paltrow has created a travel app called G. Spotting. It's basically a group of guides organized by personality type like foodie and hipster because why pretend to be normal now. Gwyneth even said she prefers to ask truck drivers where to get pizza instead of hotel concierge. That's right people, Gwyneth Paltrow, her lady bits and truck drivers all in one post. You do the math.

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More Gwyneth Paltrow News

Village Idiot for 27 May 2017, Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth is Open to Being Fucked

Gwyneth revealed that in business she's open to being fucked with, as long as you bring your A game. On the Fast Company panel Gwyneth said "I'm interested in criticism based on fact, not on projections" going on to say "If you want to f**k with me, bring your A game!" Those jade eggs she smuggles in her vagina must be acting like a set of balls. Get your Gwyneth Paltrow lubed jade eggs for $99 while stocks last.
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Village Idiot for 1 Apr 2017, Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Knows Another Place to Stick a Jade Egg

Gwyneth's Goop site recently released their sex issue talking about everything from porn to anal sex. The site notorious for promoting shoving jade egg's into vagina's now wants every nook and crevice available for future jade egg purchases. I guess there's nothing Gwyneth won't do for money, just BYOL (Bring Your Own Lube), their Tibetan Yak Saliva Lube is overpriced.
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Village Idiot for 4 Feb 2017, Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Knows Where You Can Stick It

Gwyneth Paltrow has moved on from steaming her vagina and is now recommending you stick jade eggs up there instead. However, as you might have guessed a few doctors have come out and recommended not sticking jade eggs in your vagina because modern science or something. I always wondered if girls had "family jewels", now we know. Anyway, the secrets out now, the next celebrity robbed in Paris is getting a full cavity search thanks to Gwyneth.
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Village Idiot for 7 Jan 2017, Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow Takes Aim at Chris Martin

Gwyneth Paltrow says her ex Chris Martin would "take a bullet for her", whether he wants to or not I assume. In an interview with InStyle Gwyneth talked about her relationship with her conscious uncoupling partner saying "And to this day, Chris would take a bullet for me," Paltrow adds, "even though I'm not his wife." Does she know that after the divorce he removed her from his will? I'm pretty sure the kids are the only ones getting something out of this theory of hers.
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