Village Idiot for 24 Dec 2016, Gwyneth Paltrow
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By MingleMediaTVNetwork (Gwyneth Paltrow) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Gwyneth Paltrow as the Village Idiot

Can You Help Gwyneth Paltrow with her G Spot?

The always creative Miss Paltrow has created a travel app called G. Spotting. It's basically a group of guides organized by personality type like foodie and hipster because why pretend to be normal now. Gwyneth even said she prefers to ask truck drivers where to get pizza instead of hotel concierge. That's right people, Gwyneth Paltrow, her lady bits and truck drivers all in one post. You do the math.

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More Gwyneth Paltrow News

Village Idiot for 12 Aug 2017, Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth is the Neighbour from Hell

Miss Paltrow has been annoying people for years with her crazy claims but now the annoyances are closer to home. Gwyneth has pissed off her neighbours with plans for a massive mansion that all her neighbours hate. A spokesperson said "She's created an uproar with neighbors on all three sides," going on to say "Michael and the other neighbors have tried to work with her, and they've gotten nowhere". If they're looking for ways to calm down I hear she has some jade eggs for sale.
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Village Idiot for 24 Jun 2017, Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth is Done with Acting

Gwyneth revealed that she's more interested in the world of business than acting. Gwyneth said "I'm not sure how I'll feel about acting going forward. I'm doing just a teensy little bit here and there when I have time, but I am loving running my business". Basically she thinks she's better at dispensing dodgy medical advice than acting, and she's right. Warning, inserting jade eggs into your vagina will not make you better at business but might induce hallucinations.
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Village Idiot for 27 May 2017, Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth is Open to Being Fucked

Gwyneth revealed that in business she's open to being fucked with, as long as you bring your A game. On the Fast Company panel Gwyneth said "I'm interested in criticism based on fact, not on projections" going on to say "If you want to f**k with me, bring your A game!" Those jade eggs she smuggles in her vagina must be acting like a set of balls. Get your Gwyneth Paltrow lubed jade eggs for $99 while stocks last.
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Village Idiot for 1 Apr 2017, Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Knows Another Place to Stick a Jade Egg

Gwyneth's Goop site recently released their sex issue talking about everything from porn to anal sex. The site notorious for promoting shoving jade egg's into vagina's now wants every nook and crevice available for future jade egg purchases. I guess there's nothing Gwyneth won't do for money, just BYOL (Bring Your Own Lube), their Tibetan Yak Saliva Lube is overpriced.
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Village Idiot for 4 Feb 2017, Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Knows Where You Can Stick It

Gwyneth Paltrow has moved on from steaming her vagina and is now recommending you stick jade eggs up there instead. However, as you might have guessed a few doctors have come out and recommended not sticking jade eggs in your vagina because modern science or something. I always wondered if girls had "family jewels", now we know. Anyway, the secrets out now, the next celebrity robbed in Paris is getting a full cavity search thanks to Gwyneth.
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