By Mike Kaplan (DefenseImagery) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Jessica Simpson Gossip and News - Page 5
Village Idiot for 28 Jun 2008, Jessica Simpson
Jessica Wants Your Sausage
The ever insightful Jessica Simpson has invoked the wrath of PETA by wearing a T-shirt proclaiming "Real Girls Love Meat". Jessica apparently wore the T-shirt to poke fun at her current boyfriends ex, Carrie Underwood, who was PETA's 2005 Sexiest Vegetarian. I don't see what the problem is, being a mental vegetable herself it would be virtually cannibalism if she decided to be a vegetarian.
Village Idiot for 24 May 2008, Jessica Simpson
Jessica Hits the Bottle
After hearing about ex-fling John Mayer getting together with Jennifer Aniston, Miss Simpson decided to drown her sorrows in a 4 hour long drinking spree. Jessica was at L.A.'s Mexicali Cocina Cantina when she heard the news and started a drinking binge at 4pm and had to be driven home by her mother later that night. Can you imagine Jessica Simpson drunk? 1 tequila, 2 tequila, 3 tequila, floor.
Village Idiot for 2 Feb 2008, Jessica Simpson
Jessica is going to sue OK! magazine after they said that Jess' current boyfriend, Tony Romo, dumped her after losing the playoffs and that her sister, Ashlee, is trying to distance herself from Jessica. Jessica's attorney's sent a letter saying they want OK! magazine to "immediately publish a prominent and unambiguous" retraction. Don't mess with Texans or they'll sue you and make you say nice thing about them. As a last resort if OK! magazine refuse to print a retraction, Jessica and Ashlee have threatened to team up and perform a duet, that'll teach 'em.
Village Idiot for 22 Dec 2007, Jessica Simpson
Desperate to be taken seriously as an actress Miss Simpson is considering a role which will require full frontal nudity. A source said "Jessica is in the running for a role that, if she gets it, will put her right on the map in terms of acting. The only hitch is that the script requires a number of quite graphic scenes including a full-frontal nude scene." For the sake of an Oscar, and my curiosity, DO IT!!! Move over "One night in Paris", hello "One night in a Honky Tonk".
Village Idiot for 29 Sep 2007, Jessica Simpson
Jessica's Pimp/Father has revealed that Miss Daisy Duke herself is planning on releasing a country album with the the help of Willie Nelson who agreed to write some tracks after they met during the filming of 'The Dukes of Hazzard'. Miss Simpson said "My next album is probably going to be with Willie Nelson. I've been wanting to do a country record because it's in my roots." What's that I hear, a ho down? Yeehah!
Village Idiot for 19 May 2007, Jessica Simpson
Not so Great Escape
In a rush to get to the 'MET Costume Institute Benefit Gala', Jessica inadvertently jumped into the back seat of the wrong car outside her hotel. To make matters worse, Jessica insisted that it was the car she had been driven around in all day. I don't see the problem, that's got to be the easiest way to get a date ever.
Village Idiot for 17 Mar 2007, Jessica Simpson
Jessica has Standards
It looks like there are some things even Jessica Simpson won't do, like leaving the house without underwear. Jessica was talking about the recent spate of celebs caught partying without underwear saying "I don't understand what's going on with that. I'm the kind of girl who always puts my hand between my legs when I'm getting out of a car if I'm wearing a short skirt. I always wear underwear. It's a personal rule." You see Britney and Paris, you can still meet guys with your underwear on, just make sure you have a muscle car, a bikini and plenty of soap suds.
Village Idiot for 30 Dec 2006, Jessica Simpson
Jess Talks Dirty
One time Daisy Duke, Jessica Simpson, has revealed that she protects her boyfriends from the paparazzi by conducting her relationship's over the phone. Jessica said in a magazine interview "Men must realise if they want to date me they have to do EVERYTHING over the phone!" Sure, she says that now but as soon as you phone up and start with the heavy breathing it's all "Who the hell is this?", "What's your problem pervert?", "Sir, can I take your order?"
Village Idiot for 25 Nov 2006, Jessica Simpson
Sex Sale Mess
Friends of Jessica have told how she "mistakenly" hired a male escort while searching for a blind date on the internet. Jessica supposedly realised her "mistake" at the last minute and turned the guy away, no word if he got his call out fee. Sure, it was an "accident" after all who in their right mind would be on the internet looking for sex, that never happens.
Village Idiot for 2 Sep 2006, Jessica Simpson
In an act beyond comprehension Jessica asked Britney Spears if she could kiss her pregnant belly, not surprisingly Britney yelled "Hell no!" A witness said "Jessica was really insulted, but Britney refused to let her do it." Why Jessica would want to put her lip's anywhere near Britney is a mystery, even K-Fed makes a habit of avoiding her, and he's leaching off married to her.