By Peter Schäfermeier of Universal Photo (Own work) [CC BY-SA 2.5 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5)], via Wikimedia Commons
Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton

17 February 1981, USA

"I don't want to be known as the granddaughter of the Hiltons. I want to be known as Paris."
Really Stupid x 121

Paris Hilton Gossip and News - Page 10

Village Idiot for 6 Jan 2007, Paris Hilton

Locked Up

Paris has been locked up, finally. Spending her last night at the MTV Movie Awards pseudo celeb Paris has reported to the Century Regional Detention Facility to start her 23 day hiatus. Paris' stay started with her being booked, fingerprinted, stripped of her possessions, searched and scanned for weapons, medically screened and allocated her prison number, 9818783. Who ever did the admission process needs the medal of honour and probably a dose of antibiotics.
Village Idiot for 6 Jan 2007, Paris Hilton

It's Free

Paris is FREE!!! Who says money can't buy you freedom, Porn star Paris has been released from jail after serving only 3 days of her, already reduced, 23 day sentence due to "medical reasons". As it turns out "medical reasons" translates to "psychological" as there is nothing physically wrong with Paris, she just wasn't happy in jail refusing to eat prison food and cried her self to sleep every night. Paris has been fitted with an ankle bracelet and is under house arrest for 40 days preventing her from going to parties or socializing. Bad girl, go live in your multi-million dollar mansion for the next 40 days.
Village Idiot for 6 Jan 2007, Paris Hilton

Friends with Benefits?

Paris apparently wants to be best pals with Victoria Beckham telling a friend "I just know Victoria and I would get along. We could be soul mates." After hearing about Porn Star Paris' desire, Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham commented "Over my dead body! We couldn't be more different. You won't catch me falling out of nightclubs with no knickers on." Good idea keeping your distance, you never know, she might just try mounting David.
Village Idiot for 6 Jan 2007, Paris Hilton

Lazy Porn

The laziest Porn Star in the business. Another "sex tape" featuring Porn Star Paris has been leaked onto the web and this time there's no sex. Instead the new tape shows pseudo celeb Paris in the bath getting all soapy, no doubt trying to disinfect her orifices. While conventional wisdom requires incineration of problem areas, I guess we'll have to congratulate her for trying.
Village Idiot for 9 Dec 2006, Paris Hilton

Puking Paris

Hit by a case of stage fright, pseudo celeb Paris reacted in much the same way as the rest of the world when it came time to play one of her songs, she hurled chunks. Apparently Paris was set to lip sync two of her songs after a Jay-Z performance but instead ended up vomiting on stage after spending the night drinking nothing but Vodka. Needless to say this was one of her best performance yet, second only to the scene in 'House of Wax' where she ends up with a pole through her head.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 14 Oct 2006, Paris Hilton

Paris in Punch-up

The day we have all been waiting for has come and gone, pseudo celeb Paris came closer than ever before to a bitch slap. After infecting dating Travis Barker the ex- Mrs Barker, Shanna Moakler, gave Paris a piece of her mind, lovingly wrapped in the form of her fist meeting Miss Hilton's jaw. Useless as ever Paris did nothing to defend herself and instead opted to leave the club and file a report with the police. Normally I prefer my 'Jerry Springer' show contestants confined to a stage, but I'll make an exception just this once, nice one Shanna.
Village Idiot for 16 Sep 2006, Paris Hilton

Under Arrest

Pseudo celeb Paris arrested and charged with driving under the influence. Apparently those long hard days of making music video's and appearing at charity events really takes a toll on celeb's and in this case air head Hilton just happened to be the one driving her Mercedes McLaren SLR like a celeb in possession of a banned substance. Miss Hilton could face 3 months probation, ordered to enter an alcohol program and have her license restricted for 90 days.
Village Idiot for 19 Aug 2006, Paris Hilton

The Never Ending Itch

If you haven't heard by now, mankind has entered a new era; Porn Star Paris is well into her year long abstinence from sex. Paris told Regis and Kelly "I'm doing it just because I want to... One-night stands are not for me. I think it's gross when you just give it up... You have to make them work for it." That's right kids, don't give it up, publish it instead. Personally I admire celebrities doing their bit to help combat AIDS and other STD's.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 24 Jun 2006, Paris Hilton

Paris Banging Agian

Paris could go to jail after hitting another vehicle in a parking lot and not leaving her details. Under California law this is a misdemeanor and Miss Hilton could go to jail for up to 6 months. In response to these allegations, Paris' publicist said that the lights from the photographers had made Paris "dizzy and confused". I think it's her genetic make-up and general lack of oxygen that made her "dizzy and confused", I present exhibit A: The Simple Life, I rest my case.
Village Idiot for 27 May 2006, Paris Hilton

Name of the Game

True to her airhead ways, Paris screwed over another business by forgetting the name of the game she was promoting. Perplexed Paris was supposed to introduce her new game 'Paris Hilton's Jewel Jam' but instead ruined everything saying "I'm really excited to have my new video game, 'Diamondquest'." Maybe if they had stuck with something she could remember they would be better off, something like... "Huh?" or "Herpes". I suggest backing up all data and updating your anti virus... just in case.