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Britney Spears Gossip and News - Page 12
Village Idiot for 26 Aug 2006, Britney Spears
Remembering her own man stealing ways, Britney is determined to hang on to K-Fed no matter what. In her on going battle to prove to the world that her marriage is doing fine Britney wants to renew her vows after giving birth to child No. 2. That's a good idea, Kevin probably needs a reminder after all the last women to give birth to his offspring still thinks he's at the store grabbing a pack of cigarettes. Just to be on the safe side, maybe she should handcuff him to the bed while she's giving birth.
Village Idiot for 8 Jul 2006, Britney Spears
Page Six reports that Miss Spears is a mess after her awkward interview with Matt Lauer a couple weeks ago, in which Britney tries to save face but ended up causing even more problems for herself. Apparently Britneys reps have been trying to clean up the train wreck, a source says "They asked NBC not to release footage to places like E!," The only thing that can save her from that interview would be an even bigger screw up, like putting her child's life in danger by letting it drive, no wait she's done that already.
Village Idiot for 3 Jun 2006, Britney Spears
Darwin's Theory put to the Test
After using her child as a hood ornament, then as a test candidate for baby bungee cords, Britney's latest blunder was nearly dropping baby Sean while walking the streets of New York. It was only the quick thinking of a body guard that saved young Sean from snapping his neck, while mother dearest could only muster up "This is why I need a gun." Of course, what would a mother be without a gun? While you're buying the gun maybe you should consider a bullet proof vest for the kid, God knows he'll need it.
Village Idiot for 22 Apr 2006, Britney Spears
Pop Star Parenting 101
Miss Spears had a visit from the Department of Children and Family Services after her son, Sean Preston, fell and hit his head on the ground. Apparently the flat head kid fell from his high chair but was only taken to hospital 6 days later when Britney noticed that he looked groggy. Six days! It took her 55 hours to have her marriage annulled. I'm not really surprised she waited so long, after all the Spears-Federline gene pool is known for producing groggy looking specimens.
Village Idiot for 18 Mar 2006, Britney Spears
Britney's Big Comeback
Sources say that Britney has been visiting Sikh yoga master Singh Khalsa in LA where she has been receiving "sound healing" by lying on a special couch while being exposed to sound vibrations. I think I have one of those, except I produce my own sound vibrations then blame the dog. Maybe it's just me but I thought yoga was about improving flexibility so you can bite your toenails in 37 different positions, not sitting on your ass for an hour listening to music.
Village Idiot for 11 Feb 2006, Britney Spears
Life in the Fast Lane
They say that children mimic what they see while growing up, if that's true Britney's baby boy is going to be a race car driver. It's been nearly a week since a high speed pursuit initialised by Britney to stop husband Kevin from getting their babies ear's pierced and Britney is already back in the news after pictures of Britney holding her baby on her lap while driving made it to news stands. Who needs an airbag when you have a four month old infant. Poor kid probably went through his first years worth of diaper's in that one week alone. Save a child's life, call 555-MY-PARENTS-ARE-NUTS to make a donation.
Village Idiot for 14 Jan 2006, Britney Spears
When one Simpleton just isn't Enough
Britney apparently wants to have yet another child with husband Kevin. Apparently Britney wants a baby girl next time round in hopes of saving her so called marriage to Vanilla Ice wannabe, Kevin. Well theres a plan that will surely work, after all why wouldn't another baby help their marriage? Maybe we should ask Kevin's "EX" Shar Jackson currently alone with two of his offspring. Get impregnated by him once, shame on him, get impregnated by him twice, shame on her.
Village Idiot for 7 Jan 2006, Britney Spears
Honeymoon Sex Tape
It's not even a week since Britney filed for divorce and K-Fed is already threatening to release a sex tape of the couple on their honeymoon. K-Fed wants a couple million and custody of the kids in exchange for the 4 hour sex tape which Britney fears will ruin her "wholesome" image, because we all know 'Chaotic' was second only to the 'Brady Bunch'.
Village Idiot for 7 Jan 2006, Britney Spears
World's Worst Dog Owner
Brit Twit has been voted "World's Worst Dog Owner" by 'New York Dog' and 'The Hollywood Dog' magazines snatching the title from BFF Paris. Last year Miss Hilton won for "treating her dogs like accessories", this year Brit has taken the award since the 3 Chihuahuas she dragged around "disappeared" after having kids. Normally you prepare for kids by having plants and pets around then you move onto tots, this could explain Sean Preston's perilous predicament.
Village Idiot for 24 Dec 2005, Britney Spears
Britney fed up with being a Federline
It seems that the chaotic lives of Britney and Kevin may soon be parting, allowing for Kevin to impregnate yet another former singing celeb on his quest for world domination. Apparently Britney not only kicked Kevin out of their Malibu home she also had his beloved Ferrari sent back to the dealership. There also reports of apparent visits to lawyer's. Alright, hands up who didn't see this one coming? What do you get someone who has everything? I know, a handy do it yourself leech removal kit, compliments of an overpaid lawyer. Isn't it funny how you need one blood sucker to remove another?