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Britney Spears

Britney Spears

2 December 1981, USA

"I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else."
Stupid x 161

Britney Spears Gossip and News - Page 14

Village Idiot for 11 Dec 2004, Britney Spears

Britney's Theatrics

Britney wasn't very happy when she didn't get a role in the new movie "I [heart] Huckabees". Britney auditioned for the part three times to play opposite Jude Law but lost out to Oscar nominee Naomi Watts. Can you really blame the director, after "Crossroads" I'm surprised she was even allowed to audition. I wonder if she'll try out for any other movies? Let's see, with her acting talents she could play... a store mannequin in 'Bridget Jones Diary', a show girl in 'Oceans Twelve', any suggestions?
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 13 Nov 2004, Britney Spears

Bye, Bye Britney

In a shocking, yet welcome, farewell to the music industry, Britney said she would be leaving for 2 years. Brit Twit said she wants to start a farm family with new hubby Kevin and is already said to be pregnant. Britney has left on a depressing note promising she would be back, but with a new "image", saying "When I come back, things will be totally different." Unless her new "image" involves a gag, she may as well not bother.
Village Idiot for 25 Sep 2004, Britney Spears

Britney's Second Marriage

Britney Spears is now on to her second marriage with Kevin Federline after exchanging vows at a secret ceremony in California last weekend. Apparently there is a prenuptial protecting her millions, as new hubby Kevin will receive only $1 million dollars for each year they are together. Considering her last marriage only lasted 55 hours they might already be divorced by the time you read this. Was there really a need for a prenuptial? I'm sure money was one of the last thing's on Kevin's mind, closely followed by his sanity.
Village Idiot for 12 Jun 2004, Britney Spears

Chinese Cover Up

Britney has been ordered to cover up by the Chinese government. Apparently Britney has been told that her current costume selection isn't appropriate for her tour to China. A culture minister said "Relevant departments will carry out strict reviews of Britney Spears' performance clothing." There goes Britney's future in Asia, once they get a load of her crap talents, minus tits and ass, they'll probably use Chinese water torture on her. I wonder if they can force her to actually sing at her own concert, it would be a first.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 24 Apr 2004, Britney Spears

Britney Spears has Committed Suicide

According to reports Britney's latest music video "Everytime" shows Britney in a bathtub with her wrists slit. Concerned parents are trying to have the video banned as they fear copycat suicides. Good bye cruel world. I'm going to have to go with the parents on this one. As stupid as Britney is, she has a following that are just as dumb. "Oops she screwed up again ..."
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 17 Jan 2004, Britney Spears

Marriage Time Trials

If you haven't heard by now Britney Spears got hitched and later ditched the poor guy. Apparently Britney thought it would be a fun to marry childhood friend Jason Allen Alexander but later changed her tune when she went to have the marriage annulled saying is was a "joke that went too far". It's nice to know how serious Britney, an avid church goer, thinks that marriage is simply a 'joke'. I wonder if she ditched the guy because of his name? Can you imagine the new Britney Alexander album, it would be right up there with Christina (your surname here for only $15) album. Blondesville presents Britney Alexander's greatest hits featuring the classic wife beater song, 'Hit me baby one more time.'
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 3 Jan 2004, Britney Spears

Tattoo's are Permanent?

Apparently Britney didn't think it was necessary to have some Chinese characters translated before having them permanently carved into her flesh in the form of a tattoo. Britney is now the proud owner of the words 'Big Available' in Chinese on her ankle. Big Available, more like Brains Unavailable. She really put her foot in it this time. I wonder what other well thought out tattoos she has? Maybe a "100% Plastic" in Arabic on her chest or a "Spank Me Baby one more time" in Japanese on her butt.
Village Idiot for 6 Dec 2003, Britney Spears

Hollywood Walk of Huh?

Britney has received her very own star on the "Hollywood Walk of Fame". This means Britney has tied with Melissa Gilbert as being the youngest person to accept a Walk of fame star at age 21. Ah, man! I stepped in some Britney Spears, these shoes are ruined. I wonder if it's on the same corner she used to 'work'? "May your star be blessed with a thousand bird droppings."
Village Idiot for 20 Sep 2003, Britney Spears

Britney gets Sexy

It looks like Britney has decided to follow in the foot steps of closest rival Christina Aguilera. Apparently Britney's latest album is more 'sensual' and 'sexual' with lyrics like "Would you undo my zipper, please ?" and "I see your body rise, rise". It sounds more desperate than sensual. Yes it's all or nothing time, looks like it's Britney's turn to take off as much as possible to make up for her lack of talent in a last ditch effort to try reclaim her fame. Hey Britney ... "I see your IQ drop, drop."
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 2 Aug 2003, Britney Spears

So Lifelike

Madame Tussauds in London has created a wax model of Britney Spears. The model is based on a picture from her Las Vegas concert and will feature a pair of heaving breasts. The models really are life like, they copied everything from her fake breasts to her hollow head. Let's see Las Vegas and heaving breasts? I guess that makes her... "all shook up." Thank you, thank you very much.