Bitch Bites the Dust
The search for Miss Simpson's beloved lesbian pooch, Daisy, has been called off by animal group FindToto.com after the Malti-Poo was snatched by a coyote earlier this week. Despite helpers calling it quits Jessica is determined to carry on saying "Still holding out hope despite the assholes that say is it a dumb thing to do. Daisy is my baby...why would I stop searching? I'm a mom." This is a sad story that will either be made into a movie about a poor retarded person losing their beloved pooch or one dogs desire to escape it's deranged captor. Either way I smell an Oscar, no sorry, I just stepped in some Daisy. Damn coyote's.