The Simpson behemoth is Engaged

After catching whiff of ex-hubby Nick Lachey's engagement to Vanessa Minnillo, Jessica managed to force a proposal out of long time clinger Eric Johnson. However, rumour has it Jessica paid for the $100,000 engagement ring herself because her new fella is broke. I can see the proposal now, deli meats scattered on the floor leading to the bed with Eric on one knee (probably chewing at his restraints), he reaches out and places the onion ring on her knuckle, "Will you marry *throws up in his mouth a little*... God no! Please don't make do this." Who says romance is dead? Dare I mention the possibility of another "Newlyweds" show?