Village Idiot for 13 May 2017, Paris Hilton
By Peter Schäfermeier of Universal Photo (Own work) [CC BY-SA 2.5 (], via Wikimedia Commons
Paris Hilton as the Village Idiot

Selfie Starter or Armageddon Instigator?

Pseudo celeb Paris claims that she invented the selfie and admits to her part in destroying mankind. Paris told W Magazine "If a beeper had a camera, I would have taken a selfie with it," going on to say "I think I have a selfie from when I was a little kid, like on a disposable camera". Porn star Paris went on to admit to her crimes against humanity saying "We started a whole new genre of celebrity that no one had seen before" claiming it's now "so easy becoming famous, anybody with a phone can do it." So how do I contact the Hague to get the ball rolling on this one?

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More Paris Hilton News

Village Idiot for 3 Feb 2018, Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton is Engaged and Paranoid

Porn Star Paris recently got engaged to another poor victim by the name of Chris Zylka and now she's paranoid. Not about the test results, that burning sensation is there to stay, but instead about her engagement ring. Paris reportedly hired security to shadow her with an insider saying "She feels it's best to have someone on guard at all times because of the rash of celeb burglaries this past year" That's cute, she thinks she's a celebrity. FYI, calling the paparazzi, the ones you pay to follow you around, "security" isn't helpful.
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Village Idiot for 6 Jan 2018, Paris Hilton

Desperate Paris Hilton Wants Credit for Selfies

Porn star Paris wants to be recognized as the inventor of selfies, so much so that she got into an argument with photographer Johnny Pigozzi claiming she took the first selfie with fellow dumb blonde Britney Spears in 2006. Meanwhile Pigozzi states he took the first one back in 1974 with Faye Dunaway. Give it a break already, if there's one thing Paris Hilton will be known for it's creating the pandemic of useless fame whore's that exist today. That and a burning sensation when you pee.
Village Idiot for 11 Nov 2017, Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton Threatens to Release New Music Next Year

Porn star Paris is convinced people still give a damn and says she will release a new album next year. The album is said to be more "electronic" because she now considers herself a DJ. Paris claims her biggest influences are Katie Perry, DJ Chuckie, Michael Jackson, and Madonna. Now we can't even look forward to this year being over without new threats on the horizon. On the plus side we won't have to hear her so called singing, she can just auto-tune a blender in it's place and call it a day.
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Village Idiot for 30 Sep 2017, Paris Hilton

Paris Apologizes for Pussy Grabbing Comments

Porn Star Paris thought it necessary to clear the air and apologize for defending Donald Trump's infamous pussy grabbing comments. Pseudo celeb Paris told US Weekly "I was speaking about my own experiences in life and the role of media and fame in our society" going on to say "I will continue to do what I can to be an advocate for girls and women" Her own experiences? I'm pretty sure anyone grabbing her pussy would have lost an arm to some flesh eating bacteria. Anyway, the only thing she has ever advocated for is more attention for herself.
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Village Idiot for 26 Aug 2017, Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton Wanted to be a Princess

We all know Paris Hilton isn't the brightest crayon in the box but now she says could have been like Princess Diana. Paris told Marie Claire magazine "It's really hurtful, because my whole life I really looked up to Princess Diana, all these elegant, amazing woman, and I feel like [Salomon] just took that all away from me," going on to say "I could have been like that, but because of that tape, I will always be judged and thought of as whatever they say about me because of a private moment between my boyfriend and me." A private moment she then sold for publicity and ran with as a party girl getting into car accidents... oh, now I see the connection.