Welcome to the Home of the Dumb Blonde

If it's dumb blondes and celebrities you're looking for then look no further. Blondesville is a protected sanctuary for all those... oh god, another one got it. If you find any stray blondes send them our way.
Village Idiot for 21 Apr 2018, Britney Spears
© 
By Glenn Francis Uploaded by MyCanon (Britney Spears) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC BY-SA 4.0-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Britney Spears

Will Britney Spears Regain Control of Her Life?

After a very public meltdown which saw her ex gain custody of her kids and her father taking control of her finances it seems that Britney might be taking back control. An insider said "She's finally back to her old self after years of torment and troubles. Her family have felt like she's ready to be fully back in control of her life, so her dad's prepared to hand over the reins." Let's hope nobody drives her "Crazy" in the "Toxic" world that is Las Vegas where she'll "Oops... Do it Again" and be a "Work Bitch" for the rest of her life.

Dumb

Monthly Moron for April

Which one of these Blondes is an April Fool all year round?
 
Sarah Jessica Parker
Sarah Jessica Parker
© 
By Liloesc (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Dakota Fanning
Dakota Fanning
© 
Eva Rinaldi [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Reese Witherspoon
Reese Witherspoon

Blonde Tubes

Dumb Blonde Pregnancy Test

Dumb Blonde Pregnancy Test


A blonde takes a pregnancy test but can't make out the results.
Stupid
Dumb Blonde Mathematical Calculations

Dumb Blonde Mathematical Calculations


This dumb blonde can perform mathematical calculations at the speed of light.
Stupid
Paris Hilton is Always Making Friends

Paris Hilton is Always Making Friends


It seems everywhere Paris goes people have the same reaction, and it's not friendly.
Dumb
More: Blonde Tubes

More Village Idiots

Village Idiot for 14 Apr 2018, Amy Schumer

Amy's Keeping Her Maiden Name

After marrying chef Chris Fischer, Amy Schumer has revealed that she'll be keeping her maiden name because the alternative is worse. In an Instagram post she said "Do you remember who Amy Fischer is? The Long Island Lolita," she responded. "No, I'm keeping my last name. I'm keeping your last name." In fairness there's not much chance of people confusing her for a Lolita at this stage.
Stupid
Village Idiot for 7 Apr 2018, Pamela Anderson

Pamela's Love Life is an International Affair

Pamela Anderson revealed in an interview with Piers Morgan that her former lovers include Julian Assange, Sylvester Stallone and even Vladimir Putin. Pam claimed to have kept in contact with Vladimir after petitioning him to ban seal hunting in 2009. Pamela also talked about Hugh Hefner and seven other girls at the Playboy mansion claiming "I was stood at the end of the bed watching them and then I realized they were watching me. I thought, 'This is not a movie. I need to leave.'" No wonder she's not working these days, she must be exhausted.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 31 Mar 2018, Paris Hilton

How Did Paris Lose Her Engagement Ring?

Heir head Paris Hilton claimed she lost her $2 million engagement ring while out partying in a Miami club. Everyone had to stop to look for it only to discover it in a ice bucket at another table. In a tweet she claimed it was "so heavy and big" that it just "flew off my finger". Sounds suspicious, either it was a failed attempt at a really crappy insurance claim or fiance Chris Zylka had second thoughts and orchestrated some elaborate plan to call everything off. Who would blame the guy?
Idiotic
More: Village Idiots

Blonde Celebrity Quotes

"The advantages are that you don't get in as many arguments, and the disadvantage is that you're talking to yourself." (on the pluses and minuses of being in a relationship)
Justin Timberlake
"Somebody asked me the other day, 'Do you have a chef?' and I said, 'Yes, her name is Reese.'"
Reese Witherspoon
"Would I work with him again? I'd sew the hems of his pants if he asked me to!" (on Woody Allen)
Scarlett Johansson
More: Celebrity Quotes

Dumb Blonde Jokes

One day, at a bus stop there was a dumb blonde bimbo who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step. Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, the dumb blonde reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step. So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step. So, seeing how embarrassed the dumb blonde was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The dumb blonde girl turned around furiously and said, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!" Shocked, the man says, "Well, blondie, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."
( Submitted by 'Cedric' )
A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win the million dollars. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $32,000 milestone money. And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover. It was, "Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it A) the condor; B) the buzzard; C) the cuckoo; or D) the vulture?" The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. And she was doubly on the spot because she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Audience Poll Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline, and the woman had hoped against hope that she would not have to use it. Mainly because the only friend that she knew would be home happened to be a blonde. But the contestant had no alternative. She called her friend and gave him the question and the four choices. The blonde responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer is 'C' -- the cuckoo." The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Regis any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering that her friend was a blonde, that would seem to be the logical thing to do. On the other hand, the blonde had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be persuaded. Time was up. "I need an answer," said Regis. Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C) the cuckoo." "Is that your final answer?" asked Regis. "Yes, that is my final answer," she said, breaking into a sweat. After the usual foot-dragging delay Regis said, "I regret to inform you that that answer is ... absolutely correct. You are now a millionaire!" Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars. "Andrew, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant. "Because of your knowing the answer to that final question, I am now a millionaire. I kind of owe you an apology too. I thought that, since you have blonde hair, you might not be the most intelligent lifeline option. But it was the assuredness with which you answered the question that convinced me to go with your choice. I guess I shouldn't have believed all those dumb blonde jokes." "No problem! People often think I'm dumb," the blonde said. "By the way," the winner said, not being able to contain the question anymore. "How did you happen to know the right answer?" "Oh, come on," said the blonde. "Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks."
( Submitted by 'Ben' )
Q: Why is it wrong to say "dumb blonde"?
A: Redundancy.
( Submitted by 'Cedric' )
More: Dumb Blonde Jokes