Dumb Blonde Jokes and Blonde Celebrity Gossip | Blondesville

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If it's dumb blondes and celebrities you're looking for then look no further. Blondesville is a protected sanctuary for all those... oh god, another one got it. If you find any stray blondes send them our way.
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gdcgraphics [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Amber Heard

Amber Officially Owes $10.35 million


Village Idiot for 2 Jul 2022, Amber Heard

Amber Heard officially owes $10.35 million to ex-hubby Johnny Depp after losing the defamation case against her. If Amber wants to appeal, she must post a bond for the full judgment of $10.35 million, plus 6% interest per year and has 30 days to decide. I wonder if Elon Musk has a spare $10.35 million lying around for an ex-girlfriend in need?

Dumb

Monthly Moron for July

Which one of these Blondes would you take financial advice from?
 
Kate Hudson
Kate Hudson
© 
2d Lt Jessica Cicchetto, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
Brie Larson
Brie Larson
© 
By Mike Kaplan (DefenseImagery) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson

Blonde Tubes

Dumb Blonde Explains Rocket Science

Dumb Blonde Explains Rocket Science


Judge Judy asks a dumb blonde to explain rocket science and the answer is what you expect.
Really Dumb
Paris Hilton in Jail Music Video

Paris Hilton in Jail Music Video


Sing along with Paris behind bars in her jail cell music video
Stupid
Reese Witherspoon's Police Arrest Video

Reese Witherspoon's Police Arrest Video


Reese Witherspoon goes legally blonde on a cop and it's all caught on police dashcam.
Idiotic
More: Blonde Tubes

Blonde Celebrity Quotes

"So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?"
Christina Aguilera
"I'm very anal. I can't read a book unless the bed is made"
Heather Locklear
"I don't like the competition part of soccer. It's a war in short pants. I prefer art."
Shakira
More: Celebrity Quotes

Dumb Blonde Jokes

Albert Einstein was walking around heaven one day when he came across a large castle. When no one opened the door after he knocked, he opened the door to find a huge room full of all kinds of clocks. Intrigued by the timepieces, he approached the angel who was overseeing the operation. "What are all these clocks for?" he inquired. "They measure stupidity," answered the angel. "Stupidity?" Einstein was taken aback. The angel nodded. "Every time someone on Earth does something dumb, their clock moves ahead one second. Let me show you." The angel picked up a timepiece and handed it to Einstein. The second hand wasn't moving. "Is it broken?" Einstein inquired. "No," replied the angel. "That's a brunette's clock. She's Japanese as a matter of fact." "Of course," laughed Einstein. "Can you show me any clocks that are moving?" "That's easy," replied the angel. "This one belongs to a young blonde woman, from Sweden." He pointed at a large timepiece, ticking away at a dizzying speed. "Just as I thought," laughed Einstein again. "Well I see you have the clocks of brunette men and women, as well as redheads. But I don't see any clocks belonging to blonde men. Where are they?" "Blonde men?" the angel rolled his eyes. "They're in St Peter's bedroom. He's using them as ceiling fans."
( Submitted by 'Ben' )
A dumb blonde guy and a brunette girl are walking through the woods when the brunette says, "Oh look! Clever pills!" The dumb blonde guy immediately snatches up a pile of them and eats a mouthful. "Wait a minute," he says. "This tastes like rabbit shit." "See?" says the brunette. "You're getting smarter already!"
( Submitted by 'Ben' )
One day, brunette woman was involved in a serious car accident with another driver. Luckily, she and the other driver were unharmed. When she crawled out from the wreckage of her vehicle she noticed the other driver was a dumb blonde. "What a miracle we both survived," said the brunette. "I agree, we're very lucky," said the dumb blonde. The brunette reached into her car's trunk and found a bottle of strong whisky, which had also somehow survived the accident. "This is a sign we should celebrate," she said, handing the bottle to the dumb blonde. "Couldn't agree more!" said the dumb blonde, taking a big swig of whisky. The brunette grinned. "Aren't you going to have any?" asked the dumb blonde, still holding the bottle. The brunette responds, "No, I think I'll wait until after the police arrive."
( Submitted by 'Ben' )
More: Dumb Blonde Jokes