Dumb Blonde Jokes and Blonde Celebrity Gossip | Blondesville

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If it's dumb blondes and celebrities you're looking for then look no further. Blondesville is a protected sanctuary for all those... oh god, another one got it. If you find any stray blondes send them our way.
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By MingleMediaTVNetwork (Gwyneth Paltrow) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Turned to Alcohol During Quarantine


Village Idiot for 15 May 2021, Gwyneth Paltrow

Health nut Gwyneth dumped the healthy living motto she pushes on everyone else and turned to booze during COVID quarantine. Gwyneth admitted to drinking 7 nights a week saying "I was drinking seven nights a week and making pasta and eating bread. I went totally off the rails. I mean, who drinks multiple drinks seven nights a week? Like that's not healthy." Are you telling me the health expert abandoned healthy choices? Next thing you're going to tell me she doesn't have jade eggs inside her candle scented vagina.

Dumb

Monthly Moron for May

Which one of these Blondes do you want playing with your lightsaber this May 4th?
© 
Gage Skidmore [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Margot Robbie
Margot Robbie
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By GabboT (Cannes 090) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Blake Lively
Blake Lively
© 
By Paul Bird Uploaded by MyCanon (Scarlett Johansson) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Scarlett Johansson
Scarlett Johansson

Blonde Tubes

Britney Spears takes a Tumble on Stage

Britney Spears takes a Tumble on Stage


Britney Spears takes a tumble and hurts her ankle on stage while lip syncing.
Stupid
Dumb Blonde Explains Rocket Science

Dumb Blonde Explains Rocket Science


Judge Judy asks a dumb blonde to explain rocket science and the answer is what you expect.
Really Dumb
Miss Teen USA South Carolina Knows Her Way Around

Miss Teen USA South Carolina Knows Her Way Around


The Miss Teen USA contestant from South Carolina explains how important maps are.
Really Stupid
More: Blonde Tubes

Blonde Celebrity Quotes

"He was telling me he doesn't think he'll get into heaven... I'm thinking, 'If you're not going to heaven, then I am screwed.'" (after talking to Nelson Mandela)
Charlize Theron
"I can't go more than 72 hours without shopping, but I don't think I'm excessive."
Hilary Duff
"I feel like I'm raising two children now." (on life with Kevin Federline since giving birth)
Britney Spears
More: Celebrity Quotes

Dumb Blonde Jokes

Albert Einstein was walking around heaven one day when he came across a large castle. When no one opened the door after he knocked, he opened the door to find a huge room full of all kinds of clocks. Intrigued by the timepieces, he approached the angel who was overseeing the operation. "What are all these clocks for?" he inquired. "They measure stupidity," answered the angel. "Stupidity?" Einstein was taken aback. The angel nodded. "Every time someone on Earth does something dumb, their clock moves ahead one second. Let me show you." The angel picked up a timepiece and handed it to Einstein. The second hand wasn't moving. "Is it broken?" Einstein inquired. "No," replied the angel. "That's a brunette's clock. She's Japanese as a matter of fact." "Of course," laughed Einstein. "Can you show me any clocks that are moving?" "That's easy," replied the angel. "This one belongs to a young blonde woman, from Sweden." He pointed at a large timepiece, ticking away at a dizzying speed. "Just as I thought," laughed Einstein again. "Well I see you have the clocks of brunette men and women, as well as redheads. But I don't see any clocks belonging to blonde men. Where are they?" "Blonde men?" the angel rolled his eyes. "They're in St Peter's bedroom. He's using them as ceiling fans."
( Submitted by 'Ben' )
A dumb blonde guy and a brunette girl are walking through the woods when the brunette says, "Oh look! Clever pills!" The dumb blonde guy immediately snatches up a pile of them and eats a mouthful. "Wait a minute," he says. "This tastes like rabbit shit." "See?" says the brunette. "You're getting smarter already!"
( Submitted by 'Ben' )
One day, brunette woman was involved in a serious car accident with another driver. Luckily, she and the other driver were unharmed. When she crawled out from the wreckage of her vehicle she noticed the other driver was a dumb blonde. "What a miracle we both survived," said the brunette. "I agree, we're very lucky," said the dumb blonde. The brunette reached into her car's trunk and found a bottle of strong whisky, which had also somehow survived the accident. "This is a sign we should celebrate," she said, handing the bottle to the dumb blonde. "Couldn't agree more!" said the dumb blonde, taking a big swig of whisky. The brunette grinned. "Aren't you going to have any?" asked the dumb blonde, still holding the bottle. The brunette responds, "No, I think I'll wait until after the police arrive."
( Submitted by 'Ben' )
More: Dumb Blonde Jokes