Dumb Blonde Jokes and Blonde Celebrity Gossip | Blondesville

Welcome to the Home of the Dumb Blonde

If it's dumb blondes and celebrities you're looking for then look no further. Blondesville is a protected sanctuary for all those... oh god, another one got it. If you find any stray blondes send them our way.
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By Arthur from Westchester County north of NYC, USA, at [email protected] [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Tori Spelling

Tori Cried Her Big Eyes Out


Village Idiot for 31 Oct 2020, Tori Spelling

Tori Spelling recently opened up about how she was insecure with her looks while on 90210. Tori claimed she asked the makeup artist to make her eyes look smaller and would cry when they couldn't. Wait a minute, didn't she only get the role because her dad produced the series? As if the nepotism wasn't enough, now she want's sympathy for a non issue?

Dumb

Monthly Moron for November

Which one of these Blondes would you want as your Vice President if you were running for office?
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gdcgraphics [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Amber Heard
Amber Heard
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By pinguino k from North Hollywood, USA (IMG_9074) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Kristen Bell
Kristen Bell
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By GabboT (Cannes 090) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Blake Lively
Blake Lively

Blonde Tubes

Dumb Blonde Takes to the Stripper Pole

Dumb Blonde Takes to the Stripper Pole


This is how NOT to use a stripper pole, the basic 101 introductory course.
Really Stupid
Dumb Blonde Explains Rocket Science

Dumb Blonde Explains Rocket Science


Judge Judy asks a dumb blonde to explain rocket science and the answer is what you expect.
Really Dumb
Britney Spears' Live Mic at Concert

Britney Spears' Live Mic at Concert


Listen to Britney's heavy breathing while plodding along to the music at a concert.
Really Stupid
More: Blonde Tubes

Blonde Celebrity Quotes

"Everybody is a dumb blonde at heart."
Jessica Simpson
"How did you guys run so slowly in that opening Baywatch scene... you know, where you're running down the beach?" (upon meeting Pamela Anderson)
Jessica Simpson
"If you can't change your surroundings, change your hair color."
Brittany Murphy
More: Celebrity Quotes

Dumb Blonde Jokes

Albert Einstein was walking around heaven one day when he came across a large castle. When no one opened the door after he knocked, he opened the door to find a huge room full of all kinds of clocks. Intrigued by the timepieces, he approached the angel who was overseeing the operation. "What are all these clocks for?" he inquired. "They measure stupidity," answered the angel. "Stupidity?" Einstein was taken aback. The angel nodded. "Every time someone on Earth does something dumb, their clock moves ahead one second. Let me show you." The angel picked up a timepiece and handed it to Einstein. The second hand wasn't moving. "Is it broken?" Einstein inquired. "No," replied the angel. "That's a brunette's clock. She's Japanese as a matter of fact." "Of course," laughed Einstein. "Can you show me any clocks that are moving?" "That's easy," replied the angel. "This one belongs to a young blonde woman, from Sweden." He pointed at a large timepiece, ticking away at a dizzying speed. "Just as I thought," laughed Einstein again. "Well I see you have the clocks of brunette men and women, as well as redheads. But I don't see any clocks belonging to blonde men. Where are they?" "Blonde men?" the angel rolled his eyes. "They're in St Peter's bedroom. He's using them as ceiling fans."
( Submitted by 'Ben' )
A dumb blonde guy and a brunette girl are walking through the woods when the brunette says, "Oh look! Clever pills!" The dumb blonde guy immediately snatches up a pile of them and eats a mouthful. "Wait a minute," he says. "This tastes like rabbit shit." "See?" says the brunette. "You're getting smarter already!"
( Submitted by 'Ben' )
One day, brunette woman was involved in a serious car accident with another driver. Luckily, she and the other driver were unharmed. When she crawled out from the wreckage of her vehicle she noticed the other driver was a dumb blonde. "What a miracle we both survived," said the brunette. "I agree, we're very lucky," said the dumb blonde. The brunette reached into her car's trunk and found a bottle of strong whisky, which had also somehow survived the accident. "This is a sign we should celebrate," she said, handing the bottle to the dumb blonde. "Couldn't agree more!" said the dumb blonde, taking a big swig of whisky. The brunette grinned. "Aren't you going to have any?" asked the dumb blonde, still holding the bottle. The brunette responds, "No, I think I'll wait until after the police arrive."
( Submitted by 'Ben' )
More: Dumb Blonde Jokes