Dumb Blonde Jokes and Blonde Celebrity Gossip | Blondesville

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If it's dumb blondes and celebrities you're looking for then look no further. Blondesville is a protected sanctuary for all those... oh god, another one got it. If you find any stray blondes send them our way.
Village Idiot for 18 Jan 2020, Gwyneth Paltrow
© 
By MingleMediaTVNetwork (Gwyneth Paltrow) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Gwyneth Paltrow

Do You Want to Smell Gwyneth's Vagina Candle?

Crazy person Gwyneth Paltrow started selling scented candles that smell like her vagina on her GOOP website for $75 and sold out within hours. Starting out as a joke between Heretic perfumer Douglas Little and Gwyneth it then "evolved into a funny, gorgeous, sexy and beautifully unexpected scent". Alright people, we've hit peek absurdity and it's not even February! Brace yourself, 2020 is gonna be crazy.

Dumb

Monthly Moron for January

Which one of these Blondes will be the Dumbest Blonde of the Decade?
 
Miley Cyrus
Miley Cyrus
© 
By MingleMediaTVNetwork (Gwyneth Paltrow) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwyneth Paltrow
© 
By Kurt Kulac (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Jennifer Lawrence
Jennifer Lawrence

Blonde Tubes

Miss Teen USA South Carolina Knows Her Way Around

Miss Teen USA South Carolina Knows Her Way Around


The Miss Teen USA contestant from South Carolina explains how important maps are.
Really Stupid
Blonde Loves it Once it's In

Blonde Loves it Once it's In


Blonde TV presenter has to admit that once it's in she loves it...
Dumb
Dumb Blondes in the Music Industry

Dumb Blondes in the Music Industry


A blonde takes her first steps into the music industry and it all goes wrong.
Really Stupid
More: Blonde Tubes

Blonde Celebrity Quotes

"I thought National Geographic boobs only happened in the magazine. It wasn't until after I had the baby, I went, 'Oh, no!' And...every morning with the bra, you have to do 'the scoop'...That's what it's come to." (on her 'sagging')
Jenny McCarthy
"I'm not crazy, but it's a crazy life. I was raised in a crazy family and it took 31 years to get the crazy out of me."
Anne Heche
"I don't have a Ph.D. in sex or counseling... I'm an actress. I wonder if George Clooney is better prepared to talk about surgeries because of ER." (on how she's always asked for advice)
Sarah Jessica Parker
More: Celebrity Quotes

Dumb Blonde Jokes

A dumb blonde guy and a brunette girl are walking through the woods when the brunette says, "Oh look! Clever pills!" The dumb blonde guy immediately snatches up a pile of them and eats a mouthful. "Wait a minute," he says. "This tastes like rabbit shit." "See?" says the brunette. "You're getting smarter already!"
( Submitted by 'Ben' )
One day, brunette woman was involved in a serious car accident with another driver. Luckily, she and the other driver were unharmed. When she crawled out from the wreckage of her vehicle she noticed the other driver was a dumb blonde. "What a miracle we both survived," said the brunette. "I agree, we're very lucky," said the dumb blonde. The brunette reached into her car's trunk and found a bottle of strong whisky, which had also somehow survived the accident. "This is a sign we should celebrate," she said, handing the bottle to the dumb blonde. "Couldn't agree more!" said the dumb blonde, taking a big swig of whisky. The brunette grinned. "Aren't you going to have any?" asked the dumb blonde, still holding the bottle. The brunette responds, "No, I think I'll wait until after the police arrive."
( Submitted by 'Ben' )
One day, at a bus stop there was a dumb blonde bimbo who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step. Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, the dumb blonde reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step. So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step. So, seeing how embarrassed the dumb blonde was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The dumb blonde girl turned around furiously and said, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!" Shocked, the man says, "Well, blondie, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."
( Submitted by 'Cedric' )
More: Dumb Blonde Jokes