Latest Dumb Blonde Jokes

A blonde mother is preparing dinner when her blonde daughter enters. "Why do people think we blondes are stupid?" the daughter wonders. "I'll show you," her mother says, tapping hard on the kitchen counter. "Someone's at the door!" exclaims the dumb blonde daughter, rather perplexed. The blonde mother laughs, "That's why people think we're stupid. Now watch over the stove for me while I answer the door."
( Submitted by 'Ben' )

A dumb blonde guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the dumb blonde husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys. The dumb blonde guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "Right, who's the other father!?"
( Submitted by 'Phil' )

A high school teacher is doing a class on stereotypes. He asks the students to yell out different stereotypes they're aware of. "All blonde girls are dumb!" yells a boy at the front of the class. "Sony!" yells a blonde at the back.
( Submitted by 'Phil' )

A dumb blonde was walking through a forest park trail. Along the trail, she saw a park ranger booth. They both waved to each other, and the blonde continued. Not far from the booth, the blonde tripped on a tree root and fell on the ground, hitting her head hard. The park ranger immediately ran over and said "Oh my god ma'am, are you all right? How's your head?" The Blonde responded, "I dunno, I've been told it's pretty good!"
( Submitted by 'Franklin' )

Albert Einstein was walking around heaven one day when he came across a large castle. When no one opened the door after he knocked, he opened the door to find a huge room full of all kinds of clocks. Intrigued by the timepieces, he approached the angel who was overseeing the operation. "What are all these clocks for?" he inquired. "They measure stupidity," answered the angel. "Stupidity?" Einstein was taken aback. The angel nodded. "Every time someone on Earth does something dumb, their clock moves ahead one second. Let me show you." The angel picked up a timepiece and handed it to Einstein. The second hand wasn't moving. "Is it broken?" Einstein inquired. "No," replied the angel. "That's a brunette's clock. She's Japanese as a matter of fact." "Of course," laughed Einstein. "Can you show me any clocks that are moving?" "That's easy," replied the angel. "This one belongs to a young blonde woman, from Sweden." He pointed at a large timepiece, ticking away at a dizzying speed. "Just as I thought," laughed Einstein again. "Well I see you have the clocks of brunette men and women, as well as redheads. But I don't see any clocks belonging to blonde men. Where are they?" "Blonde men?" the angel rolled his eyes. "They're in St Peter's bedroom. He's using them as ceiling fans."
( Submitted by 'Ben' )

A dumb blonde guy and a brunette girl are walking through the woods when the brunette says, "Oh look! Clever pills!" The dumb blonde guy immediately snatches up a pile of them and eats a mouthful. "Wait a minute," he says. "This tastes like rabbit shit." "See?" says the brunette. "You're getting smarter already!"
( Submitted by 'Ben' )

One day, brunette woman was involved in a serious car accident with another driver. Luckily, she and the other driver were unharmed. When she crawled out from the wreckage of her vehicle she noticed the other driver was a dumb blonde. "What a miracle we both survived," said the brunette. "I agree, we're very lucky," said the dumb blonde. The brunette reached into her car's trunk and found a bottle of strong whisky, which had also somehow survived the accident. "This is a sign we should celebrate," she said, handing the bottle to the dumb blonde. "Couldn't agree more!" said the dumb blonde, taking a big swig of whisky. The brunette grinned. "Aren't you going to have any?" asked the dumb blonde, still holding the bottle. The brunette responds, "No, I think I'll wait until after the police arrive."
( Submitted by 'Ben' )

One day, at a bus stop there was a dumb blonde bimbo who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step. Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, the dumb blonde reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step. So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step. So, seeing how embarrassed the dumb blonde was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The dumb blonde girl turned around furiously and said, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!" Shocked, the man says, "Well, blondie, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."
( Submitted by 'Cedric' )

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win the million dollars. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $32,000 milestone money. And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover. It was, "Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it A) the condor; B) the buzzard; C) the cuckoo; or D) the vulture?" The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. And she was doubly on the spot because she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Audience Poll Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline, and the woman had hoped against hope that she would not have to use it. Mainly because the only friend that she knew would be home happened to be a blonde. But the contestant had no alternative. She called her friend and gave him the question and the four choices. The blonde responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer is 'C' -- the cuckoo." The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Regis any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering that her friend was a blonde, that would seem to be the logical thing to do. On the other hand, the blonde had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be persuaded. Time was up. "I need an answer," said Regis. Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C) the cuckoo." "Is that your final answer?" asked Regis. "Yes, that is my final answer," she said, breaking into a sweat. After the usual foot-dragging delay Regis said, "I regret to inform you that that answer is ... absolutely correct. You are now a millionaire!" Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars. "Andrew, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant. "Because of your knowing the answer to that final question, I am now a millionaire. I kind of owe you an apology too. I thought that, since you have blonde hair, you might not be the most intelligent lifeline option. But it was the assuredness with which you answered the question that convinced me to go with your choice. I guess I shouldn't have believed all those dumb blonde jokes." "No problem! People often think I'm dumb," the blonde said. "By the way," the winner said, not being able to contain the question anymore. "How did you happen to know the right answer?" "Oh, come on," said the blonde. "Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks."
( Submitted by 'Ben' )

Q: Why is it wrong to say "dumb blonde"?
A: Redundancy.
( Submitted by 'Cedric' )