Latest Dumb Blonde Jokes

One day, at a bus stop there was a dumb blonde bimbo who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step. Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, the dumb blonde reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step. So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step. So, seeing how embarrassed the dumb blonde was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The dumb blonde girl turned around furiously and said, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!" Shocked, the man says, "Well, blondie, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."
( Submitted by 'Cedric' )
A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win the million dollars. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $32,000 milestone money. And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover. It was, "Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it A) the condor; B) the buzzard; C) the cuckoo; or D) the vulture?" The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. And she was doubly on the spot because she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Audience Poll Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline, and the woman had hoped against hope that she would not have to use it. Mainly because the only friend that she knew would be home happened to be a blonde. But the contestant had no alternative. She called her friend and gave him the question and the four choices. The blonde responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer is 'C' -- the cuckoo." The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Regis any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering that her friend was a blonde, that would seem to be the logical thing to do. On the other hand, the blonde had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be persuaded. Time was up. "I need an answer," said Regis. Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C) the cuckoo." "Is that your final answer?" asked Regis. "Yes, that is my final answer," she said, breaking into a sweat. After the usual foot-dragging delay Regis said, "I regret to inform you that that answer is ... absolutely correct. You are now a millionaire!" Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars. "Andrew, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant. "Because of your knowing the answer to that final question, I am now a millionaire. I kind of owe you an apology too. I thought that, since you have blonde hair, you might not be the most intelligent lifeline option. But it was the assuredness with which you answered the question that convinced me to go with your choice. I guess I shouldn't have believed all those dumb blonde jokes." "No problem! People often think I'm dumb," the blonde said. "By the way," the winner said, not being able to contain the question anymore. "How did you happen to know the right answer?" "Oh, come on," said the blonde. "Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks."
( Submitted by 'Ben' )
Q: Why is it wrong to say "dumb blonde"?
A: Redundancy.
( Submitted by 'Cedric' )
Q: Why are the Japanese so smart?
A: None of them are blonde.
( Submitted by 'Cedric' )
Q: What's the difference a blonde haired blue eyed genius and Bigfoot?
A: There have been sightings of Bigfoot.
( Submitted by 'Cedric' )
A blonde guy walks into the police department looking for a job. The desk officer on duty says, "one moment please sir," and goes to speak to the captain. The officer, slightly flustered, says to the captain, "A blonde just walked in asking for a job! What do I tell him?" The captain says, "Don't worry. Just ask him a few basic questions. Act as though you're doing an interview. We can't just turn him away for being a blonde, that'd be discrimination. Remember, we can't assume he's going to be dumb just because he's a blonde." "Sure we can," muttered the officer to himself. He then reluctantly pretended to conduct an interview. Not having any idea what to ask him to disqualify his application, the officer asks, "What's 1+1?" The blonde closes his eyes and thinks for about a minute. Finally, he says, "Ummmmm, 2?" Dang, the officer thinks, so he tries a harder one: "What's 2+2?" "Ummm... 10!" the blonde says with great confidence. "One moment again please sir," the officer says. He then leaves the room to speak with the captain again. "Well?" asks the captain. "Is he a dumb blonde?'' "Dumber than any blonde I've ever met. And that's saying something." "Well, just for kicks, ask him a history question and let him go." The officer goes back to the blonde and says, "Well sir, since you did so well in math, I'll ask you a history question. Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" "Ummm... I don't know," the dumb blonde admits. "Well, you can go home and think about it," he says, "and come back later and tell me what you've figured out." He figures that's the last he'll see of him. The blonde goes home and calls up one of his friends, who asks him if he got the job. "Not only did I get the job," the dumb blonde says, "but I've already been assigned to a murder case!"
( Submitted by 'Ben' )
A blonde surfer walked into his final exam very nervous. Having already flunked his previous three exams, this was his chance to prove he wasn't just another dumb blonde. He was hoping that he could at least manage 50 percent. But when he received the test, he was relieved to find out that it was a True or False exam. Immediately, he reached into his wallet and pulled out a coin. Each time he flipped the coin he would write down an answer. "What are you doing?" the professor asked him. "I'm figuring out the answers," the dumb blonde replied. To this, the professor just rolled his eyes and looked away. When he was done, the professor announced that there were five minutes left to go. "Oh my god!" he said in an excited voice, and started to flip the coin as fast as possible. The professor approached him and asked what was the matter. The dumb blonde responds, "I need to check my answers!"
( Submitted by 'Ben' )
Q: Why do blondes like Christmas?
A: It's the only time they can get gifts without having to lay on their backs.
Q: What do Blondes and cow pies have in common?
A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps.

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