Dumb Blonde Jokes, On The Road
One day, brunette woman was involved in a serious car accident with another driver. Luckily, she and the other driver were unharmed. When she crawled out from the wreckage of her vehicle she noticed the other driver was a dumb blonde. "What a miracle we both survived," said the brunette. "I agree, we're very lucky," said the dumb blonde. The brunette reached into her car's trunk and found a bottle of strong whisky, which had also somehow survived the accident. "This is a sign we should celebrate," she said, handing the bottle to the dumb blonde. "Couldn't agree more!" said the dumb blonde, taking a big swig of whisky. The brunette grinned. "Aren't you going to have any?" asked the dumb blonde, still holding the bottle. The brunette responds, "No, I think I'll wait until after the police arrive."
( Submitted by 'Ben' )
( Submitted by 'Ben' )
A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250 000 miles. One day she told her problem to a friend she worked with. The friend told her "There is a way to make the car easier to sell but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "OK," said the friend. "Here's the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem selling your car." The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the friend asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?" "No," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it."
( Submitted by 'Nikki' )
( Submitted by 'Nikki' )
Q: What does a blonde consider having safe sex?
A: Padded Headboards
A: Padded Headboards
A man drove his brand new Mercedes to his favourite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with the blonde sales woman. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later the blonde sales woman came running up to him yelling. "Sir! Sir! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes." "Dear God! Did you try to stop him?" "No," she said "I did better than that! I got the license plate number."
( Submitted by 'ryan' )
( Submitted by 'ryan' )
Q: How do you keep a blonde around the house?
A: Put in a circle driveway.
( Submitted by 'Ashley' )
A: Put in a circle driveway.
( Submitted by 'Ashley' )
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic, "It died." After he works on it for a few minutes, it's idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor." She says, "How often do I have to do that?"
Q: Why did the blonde have tire marks across her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the pedestrian sign said "DON'T WALK".
( Submitted by 'CaMeRoN' )
A: From crawling across the street when the pedestrian sign said "DON'T WALK".
( Submitted by 'CaMeRoN' )
Q: What do railway lines and blondes have in common?
A: They have been laid all over the country.
( Submitted by 'V. Von Pavul' )
A: They have been laid all over the country.
( Submitted by 'V. Von Pavul' )
Once there was a blonde was speeding who was pulled over by a blonde cop. The cop said "Can i see your license?" the speeding blonde said "What does it look like?" So the cop replied "It's square and it has your picture on it." So the blonde pulls out a compact mirror and hands it to the cop. Then the blonde cop said "Gosh if I'd of known you were a cop I wouldn't have pulled you over."
( Submitted by 'Jessica' )
( Submitted by 'Jessica' )
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why, officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
Q: Why do Blondes cross the street?
A: To catch the air.
( Submitted by 'beverly' )
A: To catch the air.
( Submitted by 'beverly' )
A blonde and a brunette was walking along a road and all of a sudden the blonde fall's down a man hole. The bruenette shouts
down "Have you broken anything?" The blonde shouts back "Theres nothing down here to brake."
( Submitted by 'Kirsty' )
( Submitted by 'Kirsty' )
Q: Why did the Blonde drive around the block 28 times?
A: Her right turn signal was stuck.
A: Her right turn signal was stuck.
Q: Why didn't the Blonde go to the movies on buck night?
A: Because she couldn't fit the deer into her car.
A: Because she couldn't fit the deer into her car.
Q: What is the worst thing about sex with a Blonde?
A: Bucket seats.
A: Bucket seats.