Dumb Blonde Jokes, Mall Mania

Q: Why do blondes like Christmas?
A: It's the only time they can get gifts without having to lay on their backs.

A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street when the brunette spots her boyfriend inside a flower shop. "Oh great," she says, "My boyfriend's buying me flowers again, for no reason." "What's wrong with that?" asks the blonde. "Don't you like getting flowers?" "Oh I do!" the brunette responds. "It's just that he expects things afterwards and I just don't feel like spending the next two days on my back with my legs in the air." The blonde asks, "Don't you have a vase?"
( Submitted by 'mlz' )

A Blonde walk's into a store and tells the clerk she need's to buy some deodorant for her husband. "Does he use the ball kind?" asked the clerk. "No" replied the Blonde "the kind for under his arm's."

Two Blonde roommates went shopping one day. On the way, one Blonde told the other that she had forgotten to switch off the iron. The second Blonde turned to her friend and very cooly assured her that the house would not catch fire as she had left the tap running.

Did you hear about the Blonde who returned his tie to the shop because it was to tight for him?

A guy walks into a shop and asks the Blonde store owner if she had any coloured TVs. "Yes" replied the Blonde "We have red, blue and green. What color do you want?"

Two Blonde's overheard in a changing booth. "I lost 20 pound's while over in England last month" said one. "Really? how much is that in Dollar's?" asked the other.

Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and a supermarket trolley?
A: A supermarket trolley has a mind of it's own.

A Blonde, worried about the HIV crisis, walks into a drugstore and purchases a pack of condoms. "That will be $1.08, please," says the clerk. "What's the 8 cents for?" asks the Blonde. "It says one dollar right here on the packaging." "Tax" replies the clerk. "Gee," says the Blonde, "I thought you just rolled them on and they stayed put."

While shopping at the grocery store, a man noticed that the tuna packed in spring water was labeled dolphin safe, but the tuna packed in oil was not. The man mentioned this fact to the Blonde cashier and mused out loud, "I wonder why?" The Blonde replied, "Must be because the oil would suffocate them."

A Brunette walks into a porno shop and asks, "How much for the white dildo?" He answers, "$35" "How much for the black one?" "$35 for the black one, $35 for the white one." "I think I'll take the black one. I've never had a black one before. "She pays him, and off she goes. A little bit later a black woman comes in and asks, "How much for the black dildo?" "$35 " "How much for the white one?" "$35 for the white one, $35 for the black one." "Hmmm ... I think I'll take the white one. I've never had a white one before. "She pays him, and off she goes. About an hour later a young Blonde woman comes in and asks, "How much are your dildos?" "$35 for the white, $35 for the black." "Hmmm ... how much is that plaid one on the shelf?" "Well, that's a very special dildo ... it'll cost you $165." She thinks for a moment and answers, "I'll take the plaid one, I've never had a plaid one before ... "She pays him, and off she goes. Finally, the guy's boss returns and asks, "How did you do while I was gone?" To which the salesman responded, "I did really good, I sold one white dildo, one black dildo, and I sold your thermos for $165!"

Q: What did the Blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
A: "Look! They spelled MACYS wrong."

Q: How can you tell Blondes are so bias?
A: They keep going, "Buy us this," "Buy us that."

Q: Why do Blondes like the GST (Goods and Services Tax)?
A: Because they can spell it.

Q: Why do you take a Blonde shopping with you?
A: So you can park in the handicapped spaces.