Dumb Blonde Jokes, Bedroom Bonanza
A dumb blonde guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the dumb blonde husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys. The dumb blonde guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "Right, who's the other father!?"
( Submitted by 'Phil' )
( Submitted by 'Phil' )
Q: What do Blondes and cow pies have in common?
A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
Q: What's the quickest way to get into a blonde's pants?
A: Pick them up off the floor and put them on.
A: Pick them up off the floor and put them on.
Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons?
A: From dating blonde men.
A: From dating blonde men.
Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?
A: An air mattress.
( Submitted by 'Saffire' )
A: An air mattress.
( Submitted by 'Saffire' )
A blonde found her man in bed with her best friend. When they saw her and panicked she locked the door and reached for the gun in the drawer. She then loaded it and pointed it to her head. When her husband tried to plead with her not to pull the trigger, she said "Shut up... you're next"
( Submitted by 'BUPE' )
( Submitted by 'BUPE' )
Q: Why did they call the blonde 'twinkie'?
A: She like to be filled with cream.
A: She like to be filled with cream.
Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked down the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.
A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.
Q: Why are blondes casket triangular?
A: Every time their head hit the pillow their legs open.
( Submitted by 'cierra' )
A: Every time their head hit the pillow their legs open.
( Submitted by 'cierra' )
There were three mothers a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They were each looking around their daughters rooms and the brunette mom says "I found a pack of cigarettes and I didn't know my daughter smoked." The redhead mom says "I found a beer bottle and I didn't know my daughter drank." Then all the sudden the blonde mom says "I found a condom and I didn't know my daughter had a penis."
( Submitted by 'alexis' )
( Submitted by 'alexis' )
Q: What does a Blonde say after multiple orgasms?
A: Way to go team.
A: Way to go team.
Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A: "Are you boys all in the same band?"
A: "Are you boys all in the same band?"
Q: What two things in the air can get a Blonde pregnant?
A: Her feet.
A: Her feet.
Q: What do Blondes have against condoms?
A: Their cheeks.
A: Their cheeks.
Q: Why don't Blondes use vibrators?
A: They chip their teeth.
A: They chip their teeth.