Dumb Blonde Jokes, Legally Blonde

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a shot gun?
A: One cock and she blows.
( Submitted by 'tim vieau' )

Q:What do you do when a blonde throws a gernade at you?
A:Pull the pin and throw it back.
( Submitted by 'Bryan' )

Q: Why did the Blondes mirror have 6 holes in it?
A: Because she tried to shoot herself.

One day a blonde woke up to find her house on fire she called 911 and said "Come quick, my house is on fire." The 911 operator said "How do we get there?" The Blonde said "In the big red truck, duh!"
( Submitted by 'lauren' )

The Blonde was so proud of his 30 year long service gold medal that he had it bronzed.

The Blonde's demotion in the army started when he told the firing squad to form a circle.

There where these 3 Blonde women that wanted to be policemen. So the Blondes go into the police station for the job but first they have to pass a test. The first Blonde goes in and the man asks her what she can tell about the suspect in the photo. (Note: The photo of the suspect is from the side) So the blonde says "Well he must be half blind since he only has one eye" The guy says no and that it is a side photo. So the next Blonde comes in and says "Well he must be hard of hearing because he only has 1 ear" The man says "No!, It is a side photo!" So its the last Blondes turn and she goes in there and looks at the photo. She says, "Well, I believe that the suspect wears contacts. So the guy says, "Well, I'm going to have to check on that" So he comes back and says "Wow, how did you know the suspect wore contacts?" And the Blonde replies, "Well, it sure would be hard to buy glasses if you only have 1 eye and 1 ear"

A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead where going to be executed in France by guillotine. The Brunette requested to be executed face up. When the lever was pulled, the blade stopped one inch from her neck. She was released for they believed god had spared her for her bravery. The Redhead requested to be executed face up and it again stopped one inch from her neck, she too was released. The Blonde requested face up as well and just as they were about to pull the lever, the Blonde screamed "Wait! I think I see the problem."

The night before a Blonde was supposed to appear in court he met his friend at the pub. Hearing the situation his friend advised him to send the judge some fresh salmon before hand. The next day the man tells his lawyer what his friend had told him but the lawyer advised him not to do it as they would lose the case as they where already in a difficult position. Later on they end up winning, to the amazement of the lawyer. "Did you send the judge the salmon?" asked the lawyer. "Well, yes" replied the Blonde "but I put the other side's name on it."

A police officer stops a Blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license . She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your stupid act together. Just yesterday you take away my license, and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

One day a Blonde walking late at night see's a man in a river drowning and so dived in and rescued him. At 6 the next morning a policeman knock's on the Blondes door and asked if he hadsaved a man from drowning. "Yes" answered the Blonde . "Well I'm sorry to tell you that he hanged himself from a tree" said the officer. "Really?" said the Blonde "And I just put him there to dry."

Q: Did you hear about the new Blonde hoodlum?
A: She runs around spray-painting her name on chain link fences.

Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
A: I don't know, there are some things even a Blonde won't do.

While at court the judge asked the Blonde why she had parked in that particular spot. The Blonde replied and said "because it said FINE FOR PARKING"

Three women escaped from prison. One was a Redhead, one a Brunette, and one a Blonde. They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn where they decided to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed up, they found three large gunnysacks and decided to climb into them for camouflage. About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy came into the barn. The sheriff told his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw and the deputy yelled back, "Just three gunnysacks." The sheriff told him to find out what was in them, so the deputy kicked the first sack, which had the Redhead in it. She went, "Bow-wow", so the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in it. Then he kicked the sack with the Brunette in it. She went, "Meow", so the deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in it. Then he kicked the one with the Blonde in it, and there was no sound at all. So he kicked it again, and finally the Blonde said, "Potatoes".