It's Over

A recent lawsuit has revealed that Justin Timberlake's Italian restaurant Destino was forced to shut down after a sewage pipe burst spewing human waste all over the walls and a freshly stocked "food area". The once "celebrity-friendly" restaurant, which was flooded twice with sewage, is now suing the insurance company for $275,000. I guess we all know what the soup of the day was.

Justin Trouser-snake has supposedly proposed to Jessica Biel after a 3 month split making his way through Mila Kunis, Olivia Munn and Olivia Wilde. An insider broke the news saying "Justin knows how much she loves snowboarding and the mountains, so it was the perfect place," going on to say "When they reunited, they had a conversation about taking the next step." Oh so NOW he settles down after ruining a bevy of Hollywood hotties for everyone else. You know what they say, once you go Mouseketeer... you live in fear? No, that doesn't sound right. Umm, you long for big ears? No, not that... Why Mila? Why?!

A former Mouseketeer since he was 12, Justin revealed that he is still uncomfortable with his career choices, everything from his singing to his acting. Justin told Scotland's Daily Record, "I think I'm equally insecure about both of them." Justin went on to talk about movie premiers saying "It's absolutely terrifying." He's better off retiring now and avoiding the curse of the Mouseketeer, need I mention Britney's career nosedive and subsequent investments in Frappachinos?

Preparing for his 'FutureSex/LoveSounds' tour in London Justin's backstage demands include 2 dressing rooms to be kept at exactly 72 degrees, a continuous supply of Hershey chocolate bars and Beano anti-gas tablets which he says helps him "digest" food. With a conveyor belt of chocolates making it's way to you I'm not surprised you need help. I don't think "LoveSounds" include butt trumpets.

After working with stars like Snoop Dogg and Nelly, Justin Timberlake is planning on a duet with Paris Hilton. Paris said "I think we blend well and he says he has something in mind for both of us." Something in mind? More like he's out of his mind. Anyway, doesn't a duet require two singers?