photo by Alan Light [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Heather Locklear

Heather Locklear

25 September 1961, USA

"I was a pregnant vixen."
Stupid x 11

Heather Locklear Gossip and News

Village Idiot for 24 Apr 2010, Heather Locklear

Heather Locked Up?

Serial traffic offender, Heather Locklear, was arrested after a hit and run with a "No Parking" sign outside her gated Ventura County property. Heathers attorney stated "The matter is still being looked into as it is not yet clear who was driving the vehicle." If you want to make mainstream headlines you'll need to aim for a paparazzi or two, have you learnt nothing from the Britney Spears school of driving?
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 4 Oct 2008, Heather Locklear

Drug Dynasty?

Heather Locklear was arrested by the California Highway Patrol on suspicion of driving under the influence of a controlled substance after someone phoned 911 complaining about an "erratic" driver. A witness said "Locklear showed bizarre behaviour, driving back and forth over a pair of sunglasses on the pavement and revving her engine. After leaving the parking lot, she stopped her car on the street and stumbled into the traffic lane," Her first phone call from prison was to William Shatner only to realize TJ Hooker couldn't help.
Village Idiot for 13 May 2006, Heather Locklear

BFF's Before Man Ho's

Breaking the all the rules imposed on BFF's, Denise Richards has been seen about town with Heather's ex-hubby, Richie Sambora. Apparently Heather is furious with Denise and wants nothing to do with her ever again. Now that's one cat fight I want to see, preferably in skimpy clothing, oh and baby oil, don't forget the baby oil. I personally don't see what the problem is, after all is it really a crime when you steal a man like Richie? Maybe she should thank her for "Taking one for the team".
Village Idiot for 30 Aug 2003, Heather Locklear

Makeover Time

Heather gets so much free makeup from companies that she likes to invite all her girlfriends around to have a "girls only" sleepover where she shares her makeup collection. She even hires a professional makeup artist to give everyone a makeover. The makeup artist must be pretty expensive, all those hours applying polyfiller and pounds of makeup to get 'ol Heather looking decent must knock up the hourly rates.
Village Idiot for 5 Jul 2003, Heather Locklear

Scream Queen

Heather let out a blood curdling scream when she spilled piping hot coffee down her shirt while at the 'Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf'. When people rushed over to see if she was alright, she said she screamed because her shirt was now ruined. At least she knows how to prioritize, never mind the ambulance for the third degree burns, just get the top to the dry cleaners. Yet another good reason to bring a babies bib when you go out with a Blonde, the other one I won't mention.
Really Dumb
Village Idiot for 16 Nov 2002, Heather Locklear

4 Weddings and a Dumb Blonde

Apparently Heather and her sister were late for a friends wedding, when they finally arrived they had to sneak into the back row. It wasn't until the ceremony started that they realized they were at the wrong church watching some other couple getting hitched. You can't blame her, when it comes to technical stuff like reading time and reading directions on a map it can be difficult.
Village Idiot for 31 Aug 2002, Heather Locklear

Construction Cat Calls

Heather was greeted with howling and whistling while walking past a construction site in New York. When the construction workers realized who she was they all apologized and offered to get her a taxi. It seems she still knows how to send heads 'spinning'. I wonder if she wanted the taxi for a "Spin around the City".
Really Dumb
Village Idiot for 1 Sep 2001, Heather Locklear

Restaurant Scene

Heather caused a bit of a scene when she noticed her purse was missing. She later found her toddler playing 'Grown Up' with it and apologized to everyone. Really Heather, jumping to such conclusions, shame on you. All your daughter wanted to do was act like mommy and make heads 'Spin'.
Really Dumb
Village Idiot for 14 Jul 2001, Heather Locklear

Heather Never Quits

It seems that during the NBA playoffs, Heather started yapping with a women who commented on how beautiful her skin looked. Heather's husband along with some other NBA fans tried to shut them up but they kept going and going... If she ever losses her spot on 'Spin City' maybe she could advertise for a well known battery brand, because she keeps going and going and going...
Village Idiot for 16 Jun 2001, Heather Locklear

New York State of Mind

It seems that Heather fell in love with New York while filming 'Spin City' and is asking her hubby to buy a home in the Hampton's. However, hubby doesn't want to as he prefers the casual way of life in California instead. What ? Leave California and move to New York ? She must be loosing it. Where the heck are you going to find beautiful women in Bikinis around New York? Really Heather you need to think of other peoples interests as well.
Really Dumb