Village Idiot for 24 Apr 2010, Heather Locklear
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photo by Alan Light [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Heather Locklear as the Village Idiot

Heather Locked Up?

Serial traffic offender, Heather Locklear, was arrested after a hit and run with a "No Parking" sign outside her gated Ventura County property. Heathers attorney stated "The matter is still being looked into as it is not yet clear who was driving the vehicle." If you want to make mainstream headlines you'll need to aim for a paparazzi or two, have you learnt nothing from the Britney Spears school of driving?

Really Stupid

More Heather Locklear News

Village Idiot for 4 Oct 2008, Heather Locklear

Drug Dynasty?

Heather Locklear was arrested by the California Highway Patrol on suspicion of driving under the influence of a controlled substance after someone phoned 911 complaining about an "erratic" driver. A witness said "Locklear showed bizarre behaviour, driving back and forth over a pair of sunglasses on the pavement and revving her engine. After leaving the parking lot, she stopped her car on the street and stumbled into the traffic lane," Her first phone call from prison was to William Shatner only to realize TJ Hooker couldn't help.
Idiotic
Village Idiot for 13 May 2006, Heather Locklear

BFF's Before Man Ho's

Breaking the all the rules imposed on BFF's, Denise Richards has been seen about town with Heather's ex-hubby, Richie Sambora. Apparently Heather is furious with Denise and wants nothing to do with her ever again. Now that's one cat fight I want to see, preferably in skimpy clothing, oh and baby oil, don't forget the baby oil. I personally don't see what the problem is, after all is it really a crime when you steal a man like Richie? Maybe she should thank her for "Taking one for the team".
Idiotic
Village Idiot for 30 Aug 2003, Heather Locklear

Makeover Time

Heather gets so much free makeup from companies that she likes to invite all her girlfriends around to have a "girls only" sleepover where she shares her makeup collection. She even hires a professional makeup artist to give everyone a makeover. The makeup artist must be pretty expensive, all those hours applying polyfiller and pounds of makeup to get 'ol Heather looking decent must knock up the hourly rates.
Dumb
Village Idiot for 5 Jul 2003, Heather Locklear

Scream Queen

Heather let out a blood curdling scream when she spilled piping hot coffee down her shirt while at the 'Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf'. When people rushed over to see if she was alright, she said she screamed because her shirt was now ruined. At least she knows how to prioritize, never mind the ambulance for the third degree burns, just get the top to the dry cleaners. Yet another good reason to bring a babies bib when you go out with a Blonde, the other one I won't mention.
Really Dumb