By Peter Schäfermeier of Universal Photo (Own work) [CC BY-SA 2.5 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5)], via Wikimedia Commons
Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton

17 February 1981, USA

"I don't want to be known as the granddaughter of the Hiltons. I want to be known as Paris."
Really Stupid x 120

Paris Hilton Gossip and News

Village Idiot for 3 Feb 2018, Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton is Engaged and Paranoid

Porn Star Paris recently got engaged to another poor victim by the name of Chris Zylka and now she's paranoid. Not about the test results, that burning sensation is there to stay, but instead about her engagement ring. Paris reportedly hired security to shadow her with an insider saying "She feels it's best to have someone on guard at all times because of the rash of celeb burglaries this past year" That's cute, she thinks she's a celebrity. FYI, calling the paparazzi, the ones you pay to follow you around, "security" isn't helpful.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 6 Jan 2018, Paris Hilton

Desperate Paris Hilton Wants Credit for Selfies

Porn star Paris wants to be recognized as the inventor of selfies, so much so that she got into an argument with photographer Johnny Pigozzi claiming she took the first selfie with fellow dumb blonde Britney Spears in 2006. Meanwhile Pigozzi states he took the first one back in 1974 with Faye Dunaway. Give it a break already, if there's one thing Paris Hilton will be known for it's creating the pandemic of useless fame whore's that exist today. That and a burning sensation when you pee.
Village Idiot for 11 Nov 2017, Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton Threatens to Release New Music Next Year

Porn star Paris is convinced people still give a damn and says she will release a new album next year. The album is said to be more "electronic" because she now considers herself a DJ. Paris claims her biggest influences are Katie Perry, DJ Chuckie, Michael Jackson, and Madonna. Now we can't even look forward to this year being over without new threats on the horizon. On the plus side we won't have to hear her so called singing, she can just auto-tune a blender in it's place and call it a day.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 30 Sep 2017, Paris Hilton

Paris Apologizes for Pussy Grabbing Comments

Porn Star Paris thought it necessary to clear the air and apologize for defending Donald Trump's infamous pussy grabbing comments. Pseudo celeb Paris told US Weekly "I was speaking about my own experiences in life and the role of media and fame in our society" going on to say "I will continue to do what I can to be an advocate for girls and women" Her own experiences? I'm pretty sure anyone grabbing her pussy would have lost an arm to some flesh eating bacteria. Anyway, the only thing she has ever advocated for is more attention for herself.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 26 Aug 2017, Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton Wanted to be a Princess

We all know Paris Hilton isn't the brightest crayon in the box but now she says could have been like Princess Diana. Paris told Marie Claire magazine "It's really hurtful, because my whole life I really looked up to Princess Diana, all these elegant, amazing woman, and I feel like [Salomon] just took that all away from me," going on to say "I could have been like that, but because of that tape, I will always be judged and thought of as whatever they say about me because of a private moment between my boyfriend and me." A private moment she then sold for publicity and ran with as a party girl getting into car accidents... oh, now I see the connection.
Village Idiot for 13 May 2017, Paris Hilton

Selfie Starter or Armageddon Instigator?

Pseudo celeb Paris claims that she invented the selfie and admits to her part in destroying mankind. Paris told W Magazine "If a beeper had a camera, I would have taken a selfie with it," going on to say "I think I have a selfie from when I was a little kid, like on a disposable camera". Porn star Paris went on to admit to her crimes against humanity saying "We started a whole new genre of celebrity that no one had seen before" claiming it's now "so easy becoming famous, anybody with a phone can do it." So how do I contact the Hague to get the ball rolling on this one?
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 17 Sep 2016, Paris Hilton

Hilton Gives Horny Homeless a Hand

A homeless man was spared a life of pain and misery when Porn Star Paris gave him money instead of sleeping with him. A homeless man had been standing outside the Bagatelle asking for money telling people it was for "pizza and sex". According to a witness pseudo celeb Paris "gave the man a crisp Benjamin Franklin." I assume it was all down to scheduling, $100 normally gets you a half day girlfriend experience with Paris.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 6 Aug 2016, Paris Hilton

ISIS is Targeting Paris... Hilton?

Porn star Paris thinks ISIS will target her because she's so famous. Paris told a Spanish newspaper "I'm constantly moving around from one country to another and I'm a famous person who could be a definite target for an attack" I'm pretty sure she's safe, no one in their right mind would go near her considering the weapons grade STD's she amassed over the years. The again it wouldn't hurt to have her holed up in a bunker for the next 10, 20 or even 100 years until the threat has passed.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 16 Jan 2016, Paris Hilton

The Beginning of the End

In a recent interview Porn Star Paris revealed that she created her "baby voice" to manipulate her parents and boyfriends to get what she wanted. Paris said "[The baby voice] developed when I was like really young. If I wanted to get something from my dad, I'd be like, 'Dad, I really want this!" It's all down to bad parenting so make sure you smack your kids, you don't want to create another pseudo celeb.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 15 Aug 2015, Paris Hilton

No one Wants to Touch Perfect Paris

In a recent interview Paris Hilton claimed that her doctor refuses to give her botox because her skin is "perfect". Paris said "I even asked my dermatologist if I should do it and he's like, 'I refuse to do it to you... Your skin is perfect. I will not do it to you until you need it and I don't know if you ever will.'" I'm sure we all believe that as much as we believe her sex tape was stolen and distributed against her will.
Really Stupid