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Christina Aguilera

Christina Aguilera

18 December 1980, USA

"I'm an ocean because I'm really deep. If you search deep you can find rare exotic treasures."
Stupid x 54

Christina Aguilera Gossip and News - Page 3

Village Idiot for 19 Jun 2010, Christina Aguilera

Xtina Loves Dick

Christina recently told a gay magazine that she was attracted to women but would never be with one because of PMS and dick's. "I definitely love women." Christina told the magazine "[but] I'm a lot to deal with when it's that time of the month, so I can't imagine it times two." Christina then added "And you know, I love dick, To be honest, that I cannot live without." Do you take this penis to be your premature past time, to cherish and blow, wrapped up during sickness, not so much during health, until you find a younger bigger one? I do! So her husbands basically just a penis carrier. Jordan, just sit there and stop playing with it.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 7 Jun 2008, Christina Aguilera

Making Memories

After giving birth Miss Aguilera's chest has quadrupled in size much like Britney Spears thigh's after a Cheeto's binge. Christina told Us Weekly "It's kind of hilarious! I've never fit into an E-cup before, I look at my husband and go, 'Guess what size this bra is?' And when I tell him, he's just amazed. We keep the tags that prove it, to look back for memory's sake!" Scrapbook time! This is the tag from mommies bra back when the girls were still above mommies waste, and this, this is the condom that broke resulting in your conception.
Village Idiot for 19 Apr 2008, Christina Aguilera

Bye, bye Boobies, Hello Nausea

Recent pic's show Christina with ever decreasing cleavage thanks to her new workout which includes "swimming" naked with hubby Jordan much to the disgust of her neighbours. One of Christina's neighbours said "They don't just splash around - they laugh, scream, swear and make sexy noises... There are a lot of old people who live around here, and they don't like noise after the dinner hour." I'm with the neighbours on this one, it's bad enough they can barely chew their food how are they supposed to stomach it with the sight of Christina and Jordan frolicking naked?
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 1 Mar 2008, Christina Aguilera

Mommy Teaching Tantrums

Christina has fired her manager, an assistant and PR firm BWR after only 1.3 million copies of People magazine were sold featuring Christina and new born Max, 100,000 less than usual. An insider said "She went crazy and had a massive tantrum. It was astonishing. She was absolutely furious and blamed her staff for the way everything had been handled." Even with daddy nowhere near the camera they still managed to scare off customers. It looks like no amount of cleavage can spare the public the fate of seeing the Aguilera Family (cue the Adams Family Theme).
Village Idiot for 12 Jan 2008, Christina Aguilera

Squeezing One Out

Christina Aguilera has also given birth, still not sure what it is. An SMS was supposedly sent to Christina and hubby Jordan Bratman's family saying "Baby has arrived. Mom and dad are doing well!" I don't know what "dad" was up to during the birth but good for him for sticking around, it's going to be a long 18 years.
Village Idiot for 1 Dec 2007, Christina Aguilera

Christina Joins Commando Club

After chastising fellow celebrities Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan for their liberal approach to their labia, Miss Aguilera has now joined the ranks of underwear challenged celebrities captured on film. Commando Christina was snapped getting out of a car with no underwear exposing more than anyone should see of a pregnant women. It's a bit early for a baby to have a photo Op don't you think?
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 23 Jun 2007, Christina Aguilera

Christina's New Lump

The rumour mill has started speculation that Christina may be pregnant after Christina and hubby Jordan Bratman were seen at New York's Maternal Fetal Medicine Association. Wait up Britney, I was famous too. I wonder how her career will fare, or will the "Curse of the Mouseketeer" prevail? I'm not saying there's anything wrong with this couples genetic cocktail, but the only thing this kid is likely to win is "Best in Show".
Really Dumb
Village Idiot for 26 May 2007, Christina Aguilera

Christina's Big Stink

Always one step behind rival Britney Spears, Christina will be releasing her own perfume later this year entitled Simply Christina Aguilera. The bottle will match Christina's "curves" and will have the tag line "Sometimes it's all you need to wear." By the looks of her lately you'll end up looking like an Oompa loompa and smell like MagicTan.
Really Dumb
Village Idiot for 9 Sep 2006, Christina Aguilera

Pimp My Wife

While most women would be outraged by the thought of their husband parading them for all to see Miss Aguilera doesn't seem to mind. Christina said "He's always saying to me that he thinks it's great what I do artistically, and he's happy to let everyone see. He's right behind me, supporting every pelvic thrust." He probably gave up on trying to convert her to a house wife and just let nature take it's course.
Really Dumb
Village Idiot for 10 Sep 2005, Christina Aguilera

Christina's Rival View

Christina said that Britney Spears could never go back to being a sex symbol after letting herself go during pregnancy. Christina said "She's let herself go. I can't see a comeback on the cards." Out from the shadow of Britney's pregnant belly and already talking trash. Don't worry Christina, you'll always be the mouseketeer people think of after Britney Spears, unless of course you perfect your strip routine.
Really Stupid