Village Idiot for 11 Feb 2012, Christina Aguilera
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Christina Aguilera as the Village Idiot

Colossal Christina, take 8

Christina Aguilera has been annoying fellow judges Blake and Cee Lo on 'The Voice' insisting on multiple shots to make her look less fat. An insider revealed "Christina holds up production with her constant demands, saying, Don't make me look fat or Don't show my butt" Going on to say "She's insisted the camera men only shoot her at flattering angles... and she's always ordering the makeup artists to make her face look thinner" They say the camera adds 10lb's, I'm not sure where the other half ton came in. The only other shooting option involves paying NASA for satellite imagery, hardly cost effective in these troubled times.

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More Christina Aguilera News

Village Idiot for 5 Sep 2015, Christina Aguilera

Christina Will Show You How to Get Ahead in the Music Business

Christina Aguilera has signed up with MasterClass to be a singing teacher. The $90 lesson includes video lessons, interactive exercises, learning materials, and workbooks. Along with her warbling and yodeling lessons there will also be classes on wearing the bare minimum MTV can air on TV because how else do you steal attention from your arch rival Britney Spears without getting a little dirrty?
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Village Idiot for 8 Aug 2015, Christina Aguilera

Christina's Money Man

Christina Aguilera has apparently handed control of her finances to her baby daddy which her friends aren't happy about. "It's odd for Christina, but over the years, she's handed over a lot of financial responsibility to Mathew," says a friend. "Marrying means he'd be in complete control." That's blonde money management for you, give your money to the guy who wasn't responsible enough to wear a condom.
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Village Idiot for 3 Jan 2015, Christina Aguilera

The Happiest Place on Earth, Until Now

Christina called Mickey Mouse an asshole while celebrating her birthday at Disneyland. It all started when Christina and her crew tried to get a pic with Mickey, but he was going on a break. Sources say "Aguilera lost it, and called Mickey an asshole. We're told she even dropped the dreaded, 'Do you know who I am?'" She's an ex-mouseketeer, that 17 year-old dressed as Mickey Mouse has higher seniority than her.
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Village Idiot for 23 Aug 2014, Christina Aguilera

Another Celebrity Baby naming Conundrum

Christina Aguilera confirmed via Twitter that she has given birth to her second child by her second soon-to-be husband. Christina tweeted "So proud to welcome our beautiful daughter Summer Rain Rutler into the world." She finally broke even with long time frenemy Brit Twit, 2 kids each, lets call it a tie. While we're at it can we have their tubes tied?
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Village Idiot for 22 Feb 2014, Christina Aguilera

Christina Aguilera is Pregnant Again?

Not only did Christina Aguilera announce she is engaged to production assistant Matt Rutler but new reports say she's pregnant too. This will be Christina's second child, with her second husband-to-be. This can only mean one thing, somebody forgot the 2 sugars. Next time I say I want 2 sugars in my coffee, I want 2 sugars. I know assistants are supposed to do all the crap nobody else wants to do, but making the poor guy impregnate and now marry Christina seem's a little harsh.
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