Dumb Blonde Jokes, On The Road - Page 5

Q: What do you call an unmarried Blonde in a BMW?
A: Divorcee'.
A Blonde is visiting Washington, DC. This is her first time to the city, so she wants to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she can't find it, so she asks a police officer for directions. "Excuse me, officer," the Blonde says, "how do I get to the Capitol building?" The officer says, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there." The Blonde thanks the officer and he drives off. Three hours later the police officer comes back to the same area, and, sure enough, the Blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop. The officer gets out of his car and says, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?" The Blonde says, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 45th bus just went by."
A couple of Blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the Blonde men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos." The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours." "Alright. How long do you need them?" The Blonde paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check." After awhile, the Blonde returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."
Q: What do you call an eternity?
A: Four Blonde's at a four way stop.
Q: What's a Blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.
Q: How does a Blonde turn on the light after sex?
A: She opens the car door.
There was a Brunette that was jumping up and down on the side of the road and she kept saying "88, 88, 88" over and over again. A Blonde pulls up in a convertible and says "Hey that looks neat." The Blonde gets out of the car and starts to jump up and down saying "88, 88, 88" over and over. A huge truck pulls out around the corner at high speed and starts down the street. The Brunette tosses the Blonde out in front of the truck and the splattered the Blonde all over the place. The brunette started jumping again saying "89, 89, 89"
This Weeks Village Idiot
What did Amanda Seyfried do to become this weeks celebrity dumb blonde?

I Bet I Know

Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkeswagon?
A: Far-from-thinking.
Q: Did you hear about the Blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She burnt her lip's on the tailpipe.
While on board a bus one day a Blonde was sitting next to a women holding a baby and the women was crying her heart out. "What's the matter?" asked the Blonde. The lady replied "when the bus conductor was collecting the ticket's he said to me that he had never seen such an ugly baby in all his life." "You can't let him get away with that" said the Blonde "you go over there right now and hit him, and don't you worry I'll hold your monkey for you."
One day a Blonde is driving down the road and sees a hitchhiker and offer's him a lift and he agrees. While driving along the Blonde sees that the light is about to turn red and hit's the accelerator and speed's past the red light. Scared by this the hitchhiker asks the Blonde why she didn't stop for the red light. The Blonde said "You see my older brother he never stop's for these red light's and he's never had an accident." And as soon as the Blonde finished what she was saying she stormed past another red light. While driving on the Blonde comes to another intersection and as soon as the light turned green she slammed on the brakes. "What are you doing?" said the hitchhiker "the light was green, why did you stop?" "Because" answered the Blonde "my brother might be coming down the road, and he doesn't stop for red light's."
While driving on the highway one day a Blonde almost causes a truck to over turn. Annoyed by this the truck driver follower's her and tells her to pull over. He gets out and tells the Blonde to get out of her car, he then draw's a circle on the side of the road and tells the Blonde to stand there and not to move. He walk's over to her car and smash's in her window and say's "that's for almost killing me", but all the Blonde does is stand there and giggle. Really annoyed now he slashes one of her tire's and say's "what do you think about that?", but the Blonde just stand's there laughing. Now the truck driver is really annoyed and pull's out a knife and cut's up the interior of the car and scratches the paint job and say's "Now what do you think?", but now the Blonde can't help herself and she's laughing her head off. Now really annoyed he shout's at her "what is so funny?" The Blonde stop's laughing and look's at the truck driver and say's "Every time you turned around I stepped out of the circle."
Three Blonde's were driving to DisneyLand. After driving for 4 hour's they finally see a sign that said "DisneyLand Left", so they turned around and went home.