Dumb Blonde Jokes, Wild Life - Page 2

One day a Blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters. She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse. Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.
A Blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area. The Blonde exclaimed, "Wow ! I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!"
One day, a Blonde, Brunette, and Redhead were walking along a beach. Suddenly, a bird flies over and craps on the redhead. The Brunette tells the Blonde, "Quick, go get some toilet paper!" The Blonde replies, "By the time I get back, the bird will be gone.
There was a cow and it was really fat and the Blonde says "Oh no! your fat you better get skinny." So the Blonde gets the milk pump and gets all the milk out then she fills the machine up with 1 percent then puts the machine in reverse and said to the cow "Now you won't be fat anymore."
Q: Why did god give Blondes 2% more brains than horses?
A: Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.
Q: What's the difference between a rooster and a Blonde?
A: The rooster says "cock-a-doodle-doo!", and the Blonde says, "Any cock'll do!"
Q: Why did God create Brunettes?
A: Neither could the Blondes.
This Weeks Village Idiot
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Q: Why did God create Blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
A Blonde and a Brunette are walking down the road and all of a sudden the Brunette stop's and say's "Awww. Look at the dead birdie." The Blonde stop's, look's up and say's "Where?"
Q: What do you get when you cross and elephant with a Blonde?
A: A 3 1/2 ton pickup.
Q: What did the Blonde say when she woke up under a cow?
A: What are you guys still doing here?
Q: What do Blondes and turtles have in common?
A: Once they're on their back, they're screwed.
A Blonde goes to Florida for some alligator boots. No matter which store she goes to, she can't find the boots. A few days later a manager of one of the stores is driving home at night and sees the Blonde knee-deep in a swamp. All around her, alligators are lying belly-up. The manager stops and watches the Blonde. Suddenly, the Blonde grabs an alligator, wrestles it, and turns it over. She looks at its feet and says, "Damn! This one isn't wearing boots either."
Two Blondes went to the market. While they were there, the each bought a horse. When they got home, they discussed how to tell their horses apart. They decided to cut the tail off of one. That worked for a while, but soon the tail grew back, so they decided that they would break one of the horses' legs. One of the Blondes said, "Which of the horses should we break the leg off of, the brown one or the white one?"
A Blonde and a Brunette are running a ranch together in Louisiana. They decide they need a bull to mate with their cows to increase their herd. The Brunette takes their life savings of $600 dollars and goes to Texas to buy a bull. She eventually meets with an old cowboy that will sell her a bull. "It's the only one I got for $599, take it or leave it." She buys the bull and goes to the local telegram office and says, "I'd like to send a telegram to my friend in Louisiana that says: Have found the stud bull for our ranch, bring the trailer. "The man behind the counter tells her, "Telegrams to anywhere in the U.S. are 75c per word." She thinks about it for a moment and decides. "I'd like to send one word, please." "And what word would that be?" inquires the man."Comfortable." replies the Brunette. The man asks, "I'm sorry miss, but how is your friend gonna understand this telegram?" The Brunette replies, "My friend is Blonde and reads REAL slow. When she gets this, she will see COM-FOR-DA-BULL."