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By David Shankbone (David Shankbone) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)], via Wikimedia Commons
Madonna

Madonna


16 August 1958, USA

"If I was a girl again, I would like to be like my fans, I would like to be like Madonna."
Stupid x 97

Madonna Gossip and News - Page 8

Village Idiot for 24 Sep 2005, Madonna

Sleepless in London

Madonna and hubby Guy Ritchie no longer share a bed because of Guy's snoring. Guy said "She doesn't seem to like my snoring, so she boots me out of bed." He must be the first person ever kicked out of her bed, I wonder if Guy gets to do the same when she sings? Anyway, with the movies she's made, I would have thought she would be used to people snoring.
Dumb
Village Idiot for 18 Jun 2005, Madonna

Another Kid

Madonna is trying to have another child and has turned to alternative therapy for help. Apparently Madonna bought some pill's from India which are supposed to increase 'potency'. Maybe they should try alternative positions instead, I hear if Madonnas on top Lourdes could have a baby sister or nightmares if she walks in on them. I don't know why but for some reason India's not the first place that comes to mind when thinking of purchasing drugs.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 28 May 2005, Madonna

Kabbalah Power in a Can

Madonna has been asked to be the face of a new Kabbalah energy drink but is currently trying out the drink before signing up as spokesperson. First there was Michael Jackson with his 'Jesus Juice', now Madonna with her 'Kabbalah Kick'. Yet another way to add a religious moment at meal time. Maybe they should serve it in church to keep people awake.
Idiotic
Village Idiot for 1 Jan 2005, Madonna

Anger Management

Madonna has fired her manager of 13 years after she caught her having an affair with her bodyguard after a discussion with her rabbi said it goes against the rules of Kabbalah. I wonder what happened to the bodyguard? I suppose it's one thing to find someone to take 10%, it's another to find someone to take a bullet for you. I bet he got a raise, how else could he have had the affair?
Stupid
Village Idiot for 18 Sep 2004, Madonna

Madonna's Money Management

Multi-millionaire Madonna spent a whopping £30 to hire a room in a London pub for husband, Guy Ritchie's, birthday party. The two enjoyed drinks with friends but left the party separately. Not a whole £30! That must mean the other £50000.00 went to some pretty elaborate sex toys, grrrr... Maybe it's one of those weird Kabbalah rules where you're supposed find inner happiness, or maybe she's just cheap. Guy, for your sake, I hope you didn't sign a pre-nup.
Dumb
Village Idiot for 21 Aug 2004, Madonna

Cursing Fine

Madonna has imposed a "cursing fine" on everyone in her tour including herself. Apparently you have to pay $5 for every foul word. Madonna herself paid out when she shouted at her dancers "Get it right or get the fuck out." What the fuck? I'd be broke after that tour. What kind of mother fucker would think up some dumb ass shit like... oops, I wonder if she takes cheques. One question, where does all that money go? I see Lourdes' College tuition growing by the word.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 1 Nov 2003, Madonna

Bad Habits

Madonna isn't very happy with Britney Spears smoking habit, even complaining to friends about the infamous kiss at the '2003 MTV Video Music Awards' between Britney and herself, saying it was like "kissing an ashtray" An ashtray? Well that's a compliment compared to all the other things she been sucking on. I'm surprised she managed to walk away from that without contracting anything. I don't want to know what she thought of Christina Aguilera's kiss.
Stupid
Village Idiot for 6 Sep 2003, Madonna

Swapping Spit

Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera decided to pay tribute to Madonna at the '2003 MTV Video Music Awards' by re-creating Madonna's famous "Like a Virgin" act complete with wedding dresses. Madonna later joined them on stage and swapped spit with both of them before singing her new song. Madonna, Britney and Christina? Which one was I supposed to choose? After watching the footage and throwing up in the bathroom, I decided on Madonna because A. she initiated it and B. one can only imagine how those two have been making their money lately.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 9 Aug 2003, Madonna

Making Money

Madonna was paid £7.5 million for a 30 second TV ad for a high street clothing store Gap. That works out to £250 000 for every second or way more money than any of us will ever see.
Dumb
Village Idiot for 12 Jul 2003, Madonna

Soccer Ban

Madonna loves all things British except for Soccer. Madonna has banned husband Guy Ritchie from watching soccer on TV as she doesn't want to become a 'foot-ball widow'. We at Blondesville can not stand by and allow this kind of torture to continue, phone 555-SAVE-A-MAN now. All proceeds will be donated to sports bars around the world, helping men regain their dignity in a drunken haze of sports, booze and topless Blonde waitresses.
Really Dumb