By Peter Schäfermeier of Universal Photo (Own work) [CC BY-SA 2.5 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5)], via Wikimedia Commons
Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton

17 February 1981, USA

"I don't want to be known as the granddaughter of the Hiltons. I want to be known as Paris."
Really Stupid x 119

Paris Hilton Gossip and News - Page 8

Village Idiot for 22 Mar 2008, Paris Hilton


Porn Star Paris and new man, Benji Madden, have decided to wear rings with each others initials to remind them they are taken. Pseudo celeb Paris told Ryan Seacrest "He's been my friend for a couple of years now, and we're really happy,". Sure he's happy now but just wait until the burning and itching starts. News just in, the World Health Organization has just announced that anyone wearing a ring with the initials "PH" engraved on it could be infected with a new STD previously unknown to man.
Village Idiot for 8 Mar 2008, Paris Hilton

Paris has Another Show

Porn Star Paris will be in another reality show this time in search of a new best friend. A source said "Paris is tired of the haters and she's looking for someone new and cool who she can trust. The new show is going to be full of good chick drama and you will see a side of Paris not seen on Simple Life." A new side of Paris? I think her movie pretty much covered every angle one could ever want to see of Paris. Current requirements for best friend status are a healthy immune system and intense self-loathing.
Village Idiot for 9 Feb 2008, Paris Hilton

Porn Star Paris a Lesbian?

After devastating the worlds male population, Paris was seen leaving the Falcon club, one of Hollywood's most famous lesbian nightspots, hand-in-hand with another women. To add to the fire pseudo celeb Paris was also seen making out with Elisha Cuthbert at Tenjune in New York. My sincerest condolences to the lesbian community, here's hoping you can build up some resistance to her unique blend of STD's before she decimates the entire lesbian population.
Village Idiot for 5 Jan 2008, Paris Hilton

Bleak Future

Rumour has it that Paris' grandpa, Barron Hilton, is so embarrassed by his granddaughter's antics that he is planning on giving 97% of his $2.3 billion fortune to charity so that it's not wasted on Paris. Nice going Paris, I bet you someone's going to be popular at the family get together. Isn't it nice to know that even when one generation of Hilton's fails so dismally at parenting there's always the previous generation to lay down the law. Three cheers for grandpa Hilton...
Village Idiot for 5 Jan 2008, Paris Hilton

Welcome to West Africa

OK, I don't know who's idea this was but you've had your laugh, you can have her back... Please! Take her back, I'm begging you. If it wasn't bad enough that South Africa has one of the highest AIDS rates in the world, now we have to have the source of every other STD prancing around spreading her wisdom and most likely an orifice or two. Paris said "I love Africa in general - South Africa and West Africa, they are both great countries." If only she had a one-way ticket to the beautiful country of "West Africa" and it's capital "WhatdafukYaSmokin".
Village Idiot for 5 Jan 2008, Paris Hilton

Round 2

Grab what's left of your mangled penis and run Benji, Porn Star Paris wants you back! The ex-sadomasochism pair ran into each other at the opening of Dolce & Gabbana's boutique in Los Angeles where Benji was pulled to the side by she-who's-name-can-not-be-said-without-leaving-a-bad-taste-in-your-mouth. When Paris was asked if they were getting back together Paris "offered a knowing smile". He's dead.
Village Idiot for 13 Oct 2007, Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton and Suffering go Hand in Hand

Porn star Paris is planning on visiting Rwanda in November saying "There's so much need in that area, and I feel like if I go, it will bring more attention to what people can do to help." I'm not sure if introducing an entire nation to new antibiotic resistant strains of STD's is considered helping, but she is right about one thing, knowing she's heading their way should hopefully urge governments to help the people of Rwanda. They could evacuate them to neighbouring countries, I've heard the neighbouring civil war's combined have produced less casualties than Paris' labia.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 15 Sep 2007, Paris Hilton

The End of Humanity

Porn Star Paris is still threatening the extinction of the human race saying she could have kids as soon as next year. Heirhead Paris told the UK edition of Elle magazine "I wanna have like a family and a guy... I just started working out and it feels great. It gives me so much energy. I want kids next year, so I've got to get my body ready." If it wasn't bad enough the rest of us have to suffer Paris also said "If I had a child I would name him London. I used to have a cat named London. I like the name Paris Jr, too." God help us all.
Village Idiot for 30 Jun 2007, Paris Hilton


Citizens of America, you are hereby welcomed to join the rest of the world as we laugh at the miserable failure you call a justice system. Paris Hilton was released from jail, I would carry on laughing but I fear I may dehydrate if I don't stop crying soon.
Village Idiot for 16 Jun 2007, Paris Hilton

Back to Prison

Normally I criticise people on his site but I think I've found a true hero in every sense of the word, Judge Michael Sauer. After serving 3 days in jail and then being released, Paris is now back where she belongs after the saver of worlds and all round nice guy, Judge Michael Sauer, sent Miss Hilton back to jail and reinstated her original sentence of 45 days, minus 5 days already "served". God bless you Michael Sauer, God bless you.