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Gwyneth Paltrow Gossip and News - Page 4
Village Idiot for 21 Mar 2015, Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwyneth is One of the Common People
In an interview with CNNMoney Miss Paltrow got to talking about her business GOOP and claiming to have a lot in common with people. Gwyneth said "I'm incredibly close to the common woman in that I'm a woman and I'm a mother and we all are in a physical body with beating hearts with compassion and love we are all seekers" She really does share a lot in common with the common women so much so that she often gathers her house keepers, nutritionists, personal trainers, massage therapists and personal assistants to discuss how difficult it is going through conscious uncoupling to famous singers. You know, girl stuff.
Village Idiot for 7 Feb 2015, Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwyneth's Steam Cleaned Clam
Gwyneth Paltrow recently promoted the virtues of steam cleaned vagina's in the latest edition of Goop where she discussed the "Mugworth V-Steam" which is a mini-throne women sit on and have a "combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus." Health nuts unite, from steamed broccoli to steamed vagina's. I see a entrepreneurial opportunity here. Steaming not getting rid of the stubborn build up? Then let me introduce you to the all new "Wood V-Smoker" for more tender, smoked lady bits.
Village Idiot for 24 Jan 2015, Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwyneth's Mouthful of Advice
In a recent interview with Howard Stern Gwyneth discussed past relationships with various famous men and blow jobs. During the interview Gwyneth said "You don't have to always fight. Be a girl. Show him that he's a man, and it's a good thing energetically to do... [Their insecurity] depends on how many blow jobs you give them." Sounds like a Bill Cosby line just before they take the first sip, these Hollywood types.
Village Idiot for 1 Nov 2014, Gwyneth Paltrow
Round 3 goes to Martha Stewart
Martha has fired back after Gwyneth Paltrow's retort that Martha saw her as a threat. In a new recipe titled "Conscious Coupling" Martha described the dish saying "Every Thanksgiving table should be blessed with the presence of a long-married pair who bring out the best in each other, are completely enamored despite their differences, and leave every other guest thinking, I'll have what they're having. Our holiday pies honor such so there's a pleasant mix of textures and flavors in every bite. No matter how you slice partnerships, each spotlighting the perfect marriage of crust and filling these six irresistible desserts, there is a whole lot to love." Retreat! Run Gwyneth, run while you still have a chance.
Village Idiot for 11 Oct 2014, Gwyneth Paltrow
Someones about to get Shanked
Blonde on blonde violence raised it's ugly head when Martha Stewart commented on Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop venture saying "She just needs to be quiet. She's a movie star.". But it didn't end there with Gwyneth responding "I'm so psyched that she sees us as competition. I'm so psyched. I really am" Gwyneth needs to be careful, M.Diddy will take her out with a hand crafted, jewel embezzled 12th century inspired mace. And at her funeral there'll be a decorative flower arrangement made from indigenous flowers along with a card containing a simple black lipstick imprint.
Village Idiot for 27 Sep 2014, Gwyneth Paltrow
Soon-to-be Ghost Rider
After being caught on camera last year cutting off a school bus while on her scooter with her daughter, Miss Paltrow was reprimanded by school chiefs and asked not to drop her kids off by scooter anymore. Paltrow's rep fired back saying "This story is not true. It was last year that they would occasionally drive the kids to school on scooters. This year, the kids take the bus" All together kids... "The wheel's on the bus go screeeetch!!" Did Gwyneth Paltrow just cut us off?
Village Idiot for 9 Aug 2014, Gwyneth Paltrow
Dixie Normous takes one to the face
Back on the dating scene Miss Paltrow has resorted to facials using frickin laser beams costing $5,240 a pop. Miss Paltrow has the Thermage laser treatment "It's non-invasive but it's quite painful, like having your face smacked with a rubber band that has an electric shock in it." Chris Brown could make a fortune, it's like 100 rubber bands all at once to the face.
Village Idiot for 7 Jun 2014, Gwyneth Paltrow
Pvt. Paltrow Reporting for Duty
Gwyneth Paltrow recently compared reading internet comments about herself and friends as similar to going to war. Pvt. Paltrow said "You come across [online comments] about yourself and about your friends, and it's a very dehumanizing thing. It's almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanizing thing, and then something is defined out of it," going on to say "My hope is, as we get out of it, we'll reach the next level of conscience." I love the smell of HTML in the morning.
Village Idiot for 5 Apr 2014, Gwyneth Paltrow
Conscious Uncoupling, Take 2
So it looks like Chris and Goopy will be skipping the whole separation part and going straight for the divorce after sources close to the couple claim the 2 have had an "open" relationship for some time now. And the whole "consciously uncoupling"? Well that was a PR move to make it seem less dramatic and supposedly cut down on media attention. My moneys on the classic "irreconcilable differences" with Goopy taking the kids, Apple and Mosses (No more fruit or Biblical inspired names, phew.), and Coldplay winning another Grammy.
Village Idiot for 29 Mar 2014, Gwyneth Paltrow
Let the Uncoupling Commence
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are going through "Conscious Uncoupling" which to everybody else simply means they're separating. Gwyneth used her life style site goop.com to make the announcement stating they will "always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been" When approached for his comments on the situation Chris simply yelled "Pizza! I get to eat fucking pizza! Fries, burgers, donuts, anything and everything. I feel alive!" and ran off down the road.