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Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow

28 September 1972, USA

"I'm really fucking good at my job, and people who are interesting and good know that. That's all that matters."
Stupid x 65

Gwyneth Paltrow Gossip and News - Page 6

Village Idiot for 28 Mar 2009, Gwyneth Paltrow

Moving for Millions

In these ever increasingly difficult times faced by celeb's it's hard not to feel sorry for Miss Paltrow who will be forced to move from London to LA to appear in Ironman 2. Gwyneth was complaining that she had to move to sunny LA and enjoy way too much money saying "... I'm always doing school runs and I'm always around - and then I just disappear for 14 hours a day to film - it's hard." Career woman have never had it so hard. When will this male chauvinistic world learn that you can't just throw millions of dollars at a woman for playing make believe. Somebody give me a bra, I need something to burn.
Village Idiot for 14 Jun 2008, Gwyneth Paltrow

Bring on the Swollen Ankles

Mother of two Gwyneth Paltrow plans on getting knocked up again going so far as to force herself to get pregnant, most likely with hubby Chris Martin but as of yet not confirmation. Gwyneth told Harper's Bazaar "I may force myself to do it one more time because the result is so worth it.". How romantic, forced impregnation. I'm not sure how she's going to force it but I think the next Coldplay album might be slightly delayed if she succeeds. The big question is... what will this one be called?
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 10 May 2008, Gwyneth Paltrow

Putting her best Foot Forward

Miss Paltrow is, by her own admission, a moron having broken her toes 30 times and now fracturing her knee on the set of the new Iron Man movie saying "In my stupidity I bashed into something,". Gwyneth told US talk show host David Letterman "I don't know what's wrong with me. It's inexplicable." Inexplicable? No, that's not the word, but you are close. It's one word and starts with a B... have you figured it out yet? Blindfolded - possibly, Bloody - could be, Blonde... we have a winner.
Village Idiot for 18 Aug 2007, Gwyneth Paltrow

Fang Face?

Miss Paltrow has reportedly been seen purchasing 'Ultra Lux 9' products which contains, amongst other things, a cream made of snake venom. A source said "It's not Botox. Just a cream that has the venom in it." I don't know about you but that clears it up for me, Botox bad, snake venom acceptable. The puffiness around the throat might be off putting but at least she'll finally master the all important Hollywood pout.
Village Idiot for 29 Apr 2006, Gwyneth Paltrow

Breeding Bad Names

It looks like Gwyneth has popped out yet another kid and has stuck with bad branding techniques naming her son, Moses Martin. If you haven't been paid out of the office pool, well I wouldn't be surprised considering the top names were Mortimer and Capone. At least she moved away from the fruit bowl naming convention and went for something, how shall we say, different? Maybe she'll get a two for one discount when she takes her kids to the shrink.
Village Idiot for 9 Oct 2004, Gwyneth Paltrow

Getting Catty

Gwyneth was heard bashing Halle Berry's performance in "Catwomen". Gwyneth initially wanted to play the part of Patience Phillips but later dropped out, after watching the movie Gwyneth said "...I thought the character, acting and movie were unoriginal." Meow, the claws are out and I see a cat fight coming. Must be all those hormones after pregnancy.
Village Idiot for 10 Jul 2004, Gwyneth Paltrow

Don't Listen to Daddy

Gwyneth doesn't want her daughter to listen to her father. Gwyneth prefers to play classical music to daughter Apple rather than hubby, Chris Martin, Coldplay songs. A friend said "Gwyneth wants Apple to appreciate classical music. Mozart is on most of the time, with a teeny bit of Coldplay, but only softly." Poor kid, the only thing she has going for her is a rock star daddy and she can't listen to him, but how much do you want to bet she's allowed to watch mommy on TV?
Really Dumb
Village Idiot for 5 Jun 2004, Gwyneth Paltrow

Time to Pop

Gwyneth gave birth to her first child a baby girl weighing 9 pound, 11 ounce which she and husband Chris Martin have named 'Apple Blythe Alison Martin'. I bet she's the apple of their eye. I don't know what's worse, being named after fruit of having such a long name, either way she's going to have a fun time at school.
Really Stupid
Village Idiot for 20 Dec 2003, Gwyneth Paltrow

Secret Ceremony

Gwyneth has married 'Coldplays' Chris Martin after finding out that she was pregnant. The two got married in a quiet ceremony after applying for a marriage license in Santa Barbara. He zigged when he should have zagged, got hitched when he should have ditched her. The worst thing is she's managed to contribute to the gene pool which means the next generation of Blondes are on their way ... Armageddon has begun.
Really Dumb
Village Idiot for 18 Oct 2003, Gwyneth Paltrow


Gwyneth likes talking about her ex-boyfriends. According to reports Gwyneth admitted on a TV show that it took her 5 years to get over Brad Pitt. Gwyneth also commented on Ben Affleck, boyfriend of 2 years, saying she wasn't surprised when he broke his engagement to J-Lo. Ones already married and the other, well he might get married, so just let it go. Blondes are blessed with only 2 brain cells, breathe in and breathe out, sometimes interchangeable with spit or swallow, don't waste them on memories.